tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post1478819853750541008..comments2024-02-08T11:22:04.473-06:00Comments on Running from the Law: AdjustingSara McCartyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04942635767083902005noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-2056444689663550302014-09-09T01:53:14.843-05:002014-09-09T01:53:14.843-05:00Good info, many thank you to the author. It is inc...Good info, many thank you to the author. It is incomprehensible to me now, but in general, the particular usefulness and importance is overpowering. Thanks again and good luck!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.jensen-lieberan.com" rel="nofollow">Divorce Lawyer</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05645696201210315399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-86224219879574246672014-08-29T22:36:00.228-05:002014-08-29T22:36:00.228-05:00It is so, so, so hard. It's finally getting a ...It is so, so, so hard. It's finally getting a lot easier in the past few weeks (so, maybe 4 months in?), but it's still tough for me to see other people's picture-perfect toddler-on-baby sibling snapshots... because, even though it's much better, it's still not the adorable insta-sibling bond like I hoped it would be! <br /><br />Like Mac, Leighton ignored Brady for the most part at the beginning. She asked to hold him maybe once a day for the first few days he was home... and then wanted nothing to do with him (except to pretend like she was going to kill him randomly). The only attention she paid him was to throw tantrums when I held him. And her tantrums / pushing boundaries in general just shot up in number. It was super difficult for me to handle when Evan went back to work and my parents left. We all cried a lot ;) <br /><br />Slowly but surely, it just got better. Leighton still isn't a doting big sister, but she no longer runs full throttle toward Bradywith all her muscles clenched and this look on her face like "I'M GONNA PUMMEL HIM WITH MY TINY MUSCLES." And the random tantrums have decreased a ton. She does wonder what Brady's doing / where he is, and she will occasionally bring him toys or cover him with blankets / give him a pacifier. She now pretends she has a baby (a rotating stuffed animal) -- and she wants to use all of Brady's stuff for her baby (diapers, swing, RNP, playmat, car seat, etc). I feel like that's a step in the right direction even though she's stealing all his shit for her baby (???). At least she seems receptive to a baby's needs. <br /><br />A few tips... As for who to care for first, I almost always pick the toddler. She can usually be appeased with a snack or stickers or something really quick. Then I tend to the baby, and finally circle back to the toddler to make sure everything is 100% smoothed over. This means Brady cries more than Leighton did at his age, but I think he's going to turn out okay ;) One thing that really seemed to help Leighton when she was in Mac's current situation and miffed about attention being on Brady was talk about all the things the baby is too little to do. We'd start naming things and ask her if Brady could do them... It would get silly and ridiculous, but she loved talking about all the things her little brother was missing out on ("Can Brady eat pizza? Nooooooo!" "Can Brady feed the ducks? Noooooooo!" "Can Brady jump in a bouncy house?" Nooooo!"). After a few rounds, she'd start randomly talking about things Brady can't do out of the blue. <br /><br />TL; DR: It's so hard. Hang in there. As my grandmother is fond of saying "how would you feel if Evan came home with another woman and said 'here's my new wife! I am sure y'all will get along swimmingly! LOVE HER NOW!'...that's how a new big sister/brother feels!"<br /><br />Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12984896547369166805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-88844014659209953512014-08-21T20:46:29.063-05:002014-08-21T20:46:29.063-05:00Hang in there, mama! It won't be this hard fo...Hang in there, mama! It won't be this hard for long. I remember thinking that I hated all of my bitch friends who didn't warn me that the first month with two kids two years apart would be the definition of hell. Lilly was pretty enamored with C for the first little bit. That is not to say she never had tantrums or expressed her jealousy in other ways, but as you said, 'tis the age. I am betting that as Mim gets bigger and can do more, Mac may take more interest in her. 6 months in now Lilly is not liking that Craft is doing things and wants to hold her toys. I swear we have lessons on sharing all day every day. Lord help me!Sarah Baumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07058420698538230911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-67850491412018487122014-08-21T10:01:32.610-05:002014-08-21T10:01:32.610-05:00Love the honesty.It definitely gives me a perspect...Love the honesty.It definitely gives me a perspective what life might be like if we decide to have another child. Hang in there, you are doing a great job! Sarah https://www.blogger.com/profile/04307891396528119778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-75382121124052957972014-08-20T23:41:31.343-05:002014-08-20T23:41:31.343-05:00I just love the happiness that comes through from ...I just love the happiness that comes through from Mac in these photos! Even though your time spent with him is more limited, look at how happy he is when he is with you, he LOVES you so much! I can't speak from experience since I only have one, but I know he will come around. When Mim gets a little older and can do more, he will be SO excited to play with her! You're doing great!Elizabeth [Chasin' Mason]https://www.blogger.com/profile/15755393907480303868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-38176978928016035692014-08-20T23:30:47.006-05:002014-08-20T23:30:47.006-05:00You are doing such a wonderful job! I can just fe...You are doing such a wonderful job! I can just feel the love going on in your family!Laura Marie Keenanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16284571727310318210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-70541073376004797402014-08-20T21:34:38.755-05:002014-08-20T21:34:38.755-05:00This was so refreshing! Kids are hard. Two is hard...This was so refreshing! Kids are hard. Two is harder. So much to balance. I know I'd never be able to handle that with grace. I really can't imagine how hard it must be when Mac throws a huge tantrum while you need to attend to Mim. I'm glad things are looking up though, even if at a snails pace! You've got the right direction =)Courtney [Sweet Turtle Soup]https://www.blogger.com/profile/13511662684917860206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-33472938657111034362014-08-20T15:22:22.665-05:002014-08-20T15:22:22.665-05:00It's so tough in the beginning but it does get...It's so tough in the beginning but it does get easier!! I think it played in our favor that Bella was just 16 months old when we brought Audriana home because that's really all she knows now. Once Mim starts sleeping more and spacing out feedings a little more you will start to feel like you've settled into your routine. I remember how hard the first 3 months were with random bed times and being up throughout the night but now that we are over that hurdle we love that they have each other. You will melt once they really start to interact :) Hang in there! You've got this!Alyssahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01911286221945043784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-71312381211501192332014-08-20T08:53:58.950-05:002014-08-20T08:53:58.950-05:00You are doing so great mama - I can't imagine ...You are doing so great mama - I can't imagine how tough it must be with a newborn and 2 year old, so hang in there! I loved your honest opinion on how things are going. I remember missing time with my husband when my daughter was born, and now we can have a lot more time together after she's in bed, so remember that it doesn't last forever! Thinking of you, and hoping that the dynamic continues to get better. You're a fabulous mom!Jamie Lynn {Cocktails and Carseats}https://www.blogger.com/profile/00350961724433712789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-28739631472941959352014-08-20T08:05:04.656-05:002014-08-20T08:05:04.656-05:00You are doing so great! There's no doubt that ...You are doing so great! There's no doubt that it is hard, that's for sure! Hayden has been similar to Mac in that he really doesn't pay that much attention to Brooks but then the next minute he will ask to hold him or's mother has had with kisses. It just depends on his mood. I can totally relate to you in feeling lonely and isolated when your hubby is playing with Mac and you are constantly having to feed Mim. I feel like everyone else's world keeps going on but you're kind of stuck. Hang in there, it will all change so quickly!Mateyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07574063496527679824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-79752105440086454312014-08-19T22:01:21.863-05:002014-08-19T22:01:21.863-05:00Oh girl, big hugs! I have been meaning to do my ow...Oh girl, big hugs! I have been meaning to do my own 'siblings and the adjustment' post and need to get on it ASAP. But seriously, my two year old this time around has been a LOT more challenging than my two year old the first time around. Every kid is just so so so different and yes, the age of two is ROUGH. <br /><br />My best advice is to keep doing what you are doing. I like the 1:1 dates with Mac but also spend as much time as you can with the new normal that includes Mim and hubby and mommy. He will come around. And I find that getting OUT of the house is an absolute must for all of our mental sanity levels. If I attempt to stay at home all day long with the kids one of us will inevitably go nutso---having fun activities planned outside of the home is KEY. There will be naps later as necessary because obviously rest is also really important, but still---getting out and doing things helps us a lot. <br /><br />It will get easier for sure! You're doing great, mama.Julia Gooliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14778787182629361642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-36220851354439088362014-08-19T20:37:53.446-05:002014-08-19T20:37:53.446-05:00I am so worried about Avery's transition when ...I am so worried about Avery's transition when Luke arrives. We're rocking her world with moving, living with nana and papa and then Luke's arrival all within 6 weeks. Leah @ Everyday Lovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00705804150028387604noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-89673719361143811612014-08-19T19:38:00.112-05:002014-08-19T19:38:00.112-05:00You really are such a great mom, I love your outlo...You really are such a great mom, I love your outlook!!!! Hang in!Ashley Bricknerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17615432207645571722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-23764364458815149102014-08-19T17:42:30.042-05:002014-08-19T17:42:30.042-05:00Thank you so much for the raw honesty. While we ar...Thank you so much for the raw honesty. While we aren't anywhere near this phase (I mean, we'd need to have a newborn first), I will certainly bookmark this post for the future. <br />Hang in there momma. Your family is beautiful and you're doing an amazing job!!Desiree Mackehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12693020680303909151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-27467785074884540162014-08-19T17:42:28.211-05:002014-08-19T17:42:28.211-05:002 really is such a tough age. I'm sure that 90...2 really is such a tough age. I'm sure that 90% of his issues are age based and less so new-baby based. My middle chid had just turned 2 when we had our 3rd and, while she didn't have a tough time adjusting really, she pretty much ignored him completely until he was about 1. It was like he didn't even exist to her! But now that he is running around with his siblings, she includes him much more. Some kids love babies, other's don't. No big deal. <br />Also, Mim will never remember that you put her down as a baby to play with Mac, so please do not let that worry you! <br />Before we had our second I remember someone recommending that we vocalize to the baby when you are helping your older child, for the older child's sake. The older one is often hearing, "Just a minute, I need to feed the baby." or "Please wait, I'm changing the baby," etc… so when you are playing with Mac or giving him lunch, say to the baby, "Mim, you are going to have to wait, I'm feeding Mac." Something along those lines. Does that make sense? It helps show the 2 year old that he isn't being short changed by being made to wait for your attention at times. We all have to wait sometimes :) <br />Anyway, the babies are both adorable and it sounds like overall, everyone is doing so great! It definitely gets easier with time!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07929850176678535570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-17915169707045872772014-08-19T17:28:43.149-05:002014-08-19T17:28:43.149-05:00You know, before clicking over here I was coincide...You know, before clicking over here I was coincidentally just reading over some of my posts from when my 2nd was born 2 1/2 years ago, and remembering those times... it was SO HARD. My oldest is and was and always will be a little spitfire. He is a very sensitive and energetic kid, transitions and changes have always been and still can be difficult, and when Louie was born he was 2 years 4 months. And man. SO FREAKING HARD. And I was so hard on myself as well during those times. Sounds like you are doing everything you can and should be doing, and I promise it will get better with time. I can not even believe how much growing up my kids have done from 2-3, and then 3-4. It's wild. <br /><br />Here's the post of mine that I JUST read and that's why I had to comment on this when I saw you posting about it on IG. (I'm alinordy there.) This just really brings me back. It's going to get better girl. Keep on keeping on.<br /><br />http://www.agracefuldisaster.blogspot.com/2012/01/three-weeks-with-two-kids.html<br /><br />AliciaAliRosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11332421707803139102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-48466284528213447672014-08-19T16:25:16.566-05:002014-08-19T16:25:16.566-05:00Yup - thanks for being honest. The transition from...Yup - thanks for being honest. The transition from one to two was REALLY hard for me 2 1/2 years ago, and I feel like no one prepared me for it!!! Two is SO much harder than one, and it's because of the older child! <br /><br />I'm expecting #3 any day and I feel like I'm going in with more realistic expectations - and a better handle on how to deal with it all! <br /><br />Good luck - it gets easier but it sure takes time! Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03552565623002937197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-13165074306832739912014-08-19T16:10:56.910-05:002014-08-19T16:10:56.910-05:00Thank you so much for this honest post! I'm du...Thank you so much for this honest post! I'm due with our 2nd in Jan and ours will be 2 yrs & 5 months apart. You hit the nail on my biggest fears with having a second and it's reassuring know it gets better! Hang in there mama! xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-39048333623316603222014-08-19T15:34:39.063-05:002014-08-19T15:34:39.063-05:002 is tough, eh? I agree that it may not just be Mi...2 is tough, eh? I agree that it may not just be Mim that is the 'issue' - just that he is two. Tantrums? Throwing himself on the floor? Refusing to eat what you give and when you give it? Demanding things of you? Yep...TWO. I only have one and DANG he is awful sometimes. Still love him though :-) Keep on doing what you are doing mama!!!LifeBegins@Thirtyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16031156921598156745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-3045875489233096112014-08-19T15:33:14.378-05:002014-08-19T15:33:14.378-05:00Hang in there mama!! I am sure you will get it al...Hang in there mama!! I am sure you will get it all figured out and everything will be running 'smoothly' soon! Thinking about your guys! :)Jamie @ The Jamie's + 1https://www.blogger.com/profile/05254025988881381701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-20555068665030718452014-08-19T15:27:12.232-05:002014-08-19T15:27:12.232-05:00I loved this honest look at what life is really li...I loved this honest look at what life is really like for the toddler to adjust to everything!Sarah @ The Not Quite Military Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13768428079985536076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-4005996549900796552014-08-19T15:07:45.239-05:002014-08-19T15:07:45.239-05:00Oh, Sara...you're scaring me here! Mine will b...Oh, Sara...you're scaring me here! Mine will be the same age difference and genders as yours...and Carter is so much like Mac that it's scary. So, yeah, please report back when you get things figured out!! :) But really, I'm sure time will help things and hopefully you can feel all better soon so you can play more with Mac. Just keep on trying...that's all you can do!!Whitneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00661973679165271757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-38490634005204191582014-08-19T15:05:46.479-05:002014-08-19T15:05:46.479-05:00I have no real advice except for hang in there mam...I have no real advice except for hang in there mama!! I've had a few people tell me if you have to pick which kid to tend to first pick the older one because they're more likely to remember/act out if they feel ignored while your newborn won't remember. I'm not sure if that works or not! I'm coming back later to read on the comments hoping to get some advice for when we go through this in 3 months. At least they're both super cute right?! :) Nathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10029553808937170857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-69178682081913341682014-08-19T15:00:26.750-05:002014-08-19T15:00:26.750-05:00I am sorry things are so tough! I've been thin...I am sorry things are so tough! I've been thinking of you! It sounds like you are making great decisions for both Mim and Mac. While my boys have always loved having a baby around, it still feels isolating when they want to run and play and I'm either nursing or afraid to move bc she might wake. And of course next month things could be totally different! You are such a great and thoughtful mom. Kristen [Playground Prepster]https://www.blogger.com/profile/17577071697448069754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8479044467467363635.post-20048053283272362922014-08-19T14:53:22.468-05:002014-08-19T14:53:22.468-05:00Oh girl, seriously, thank you for your honesty. I...Oh girl, seriously, thank you for your honesty. I know it's not all going to be sunshine and rainbows when Nora arrives. We have plenty of moments even now when Hubby & I have to remind ourselves "She's just being 2." It is certainly such a hard time for them, and I'm hoping with Elyse being closer to 3 and same gender as Nora that the transition will be smoother?!? Eghh...who am I kidding?!? It's going to be rough regardless! I'm definitely going to be looking to you as to how this ends up...but in the meantime I think you're doing an amazing job! Sounds like the divide and conquer is helping you to survive right now, and in those early weeks I remember that survival is really all that you're going for! Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15431749144309749798noreply@blogger.com