Chasing Silver - Location X

As you may have learned from reading this blog, my darling fiancé Ryan is obsessed with fly fishing. Actually, I’m not sure obsessed adequately describes his passion and commitment to the sport. Usually, he can be found fishing for his beloved brown trout in the rivers and streams in Missouri, Arkansas, Montana and Colorado.

But the ultimate saltwater fly fishing experience is flats fishing for tarpon. Tarpon are large silver coastal fish considered by many anglers to be the ultimate fly rod target. They grow up to 8 feet in length and sometimes weigh 200 pounds. The tarpon is considered one of the great saltwater game fishes, not only because of the size it can reach and its accessible haunts, but because of its fighting spirit when hooked; it is very strong, making spectacular leaps into the air.

A normal tarpon fly rod outfit uses 10-12 weight rods and reels spooled with appropriate line and using a class leader tippet of 12-20 lb. Pretty light tackle where the fish may weigh 10 times or more than the breaking strength of the leader! Typically an angler stations himself on the bow of a shallow water flats boat and with the aid of a guide searches for incoming tarpon on the flats (inshore areas of the ocean that are very shallow, typically no more than 3-4 feet deep). When a tarpon is sighted, the guide positions the boat to intercept the fish. The angler usually has no more than 6-10 seconds to cast out enough flyline and make an accurate cast to the fast moving fish. Accuracy and speed are paramount but the task is compounded by the inevitable excitement and nervousness of seeing a fish that may top 180 lb bearing down on the angler. Once the cast is made, hopefully a tarpon sees and pursues the fly. The hookset is difficult due to the hard mouth of the fish which has been likened to the hardness of concrete. For that reason many tarpon throw the hook on the first few jumps. If the hook stays secure, then the fight is on. Tarpon have tremendous endurance and are one of the most exciting gamefish to fight - frequent spectacular jumps, long runs, and stubborn bulldogging are all part of the game. The average angler can usually land a tarpon anywhere from just under one hour to more than three hours.

A few years ago, Ryan had his first taste of tarpon fishing in Key West, Florida. We flew down there for his birthday, giving him the chance to spend one day out on the flats with his friend John and their guide Joe. Towards the end of the afternoon, after "chasing silver" all day, Ryan had the perfect opportunity to catch the fish of his dreams. Although he’d been practicing the tarpon hookset all morning, he instinctively set the hook like he was catching a trout, and pulled the fly right out of the tarpon’s mouth. Fish lost…John’s turn. John, after learning the hookset lesson from Ryan’s painful loss, ended up catching a tarpon immediately. Although thrilled for his friend, Ryan was devastated and vowed revenge on the tarpon.

For the following two years he thought about the tarpon that got away. He became determined to have another opportunity to catch one. He read books and articles. And he began watching a show on the Outdoor Life Network called "Chasing Silver," all about tarpon fishing. Each episode of Chasing Silver was filmed in a different tarpon hot spot. Locations included Key West, Belieze, Boca Grand, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, etc. But his favorite episode was called "Location X."

Location X was an undisclosed location, where veteran tarpon anglers were blindly taken to experience the best tarpon fishing of their lives…on film. In a cloud of secrecy, the anglers are transported to a clandestine spot to fish with a masked guide, lured by reports of large, willing tarpon in shallow water. Passing through dark mangroves identified only by a lone stake with a black 'X' burned into its weathered surface, the unsuspecting anglers travel to wide, mottled flats backed by a featureless shoreline. It all looks normal enough, even sedate. Then they are awakened by some of the most spectacular tarpon eats yet captured on film. Pretty exciting stuff, and I don’t even fish!!

So last year for Ryan’s birthday I wanted to surprise him and take him tarpon fishing again. I knew he’d be thrilled about spending a few days fishing and hanging out in Key West, on the beach. Unfortunately, I waited too long to book Ryan’s usual guide Joe, who was unavailable (he said was completely booked by December). He looked into finding us another guide in the Keys, but no one had any days in April or May available. It appeared that Ryan was going to miss his chance to chase silver.

However, I had a call in to our good friend Steve, an incredible fly fisherman, who works for Orvis. He knew how badly Ryan wanted a tarpon and was determined to make it happen for him. One afternoon I got a giddy phone call from Steve who told me that he had two days guided tarpon fishing for us, but we had to say yes and not ask any questions. Hmmm…what does that mean? He needed an answer right away. That wasn’t a decision I was comfortable making secretly without getting any feedback from Ryan. I didn’t know where we’d be going, how long we’d be away from work, how expensive it’d be or any other details…and I couldn’t ask!

I immediately called Ryan and told him what I’d done. He was incredibly excited at the thought of tarpon fishing, but was apprehensive about agreeing to something without having any idea what it was we were signing up for. He called Steve and convinced him to give us the basics. Turns out, Steve got him two days of tarpon fishing, in Location X, with the guide from Location X!!!! Ryan was freaking out!! Steve said this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and not to pass it up. We still didn’t know where it was, but we agreed to go and booked the guide!!

A month later, now having all the details, we boarded our plane and headed to Location X. It was an amazing place. We had the guide booked for two days, but unfortunately, due to bad weather, Ryan only got one good afternoon of tarpon fishing. I even got to tag along and take pictures! We got up hours before dawn and headed to our top secret destination. The morning wind was rough and the water was choppy. Since tarpon fishing is all done by sight, it didn’t really work until the sun came out. In the afternoon, we saw about 15 tarpon, 6 sharks, some dolphins, and all kinds of jacks. Ryan did great - he hooked a couple, but didn’t manage to land any. Those fish can really jump!! But he learned a lot about tarpon fishing, and had an amazing experience. Still, the silver fish eluded him again.

However, the days we booked with the guide became ours – meaning we have them every year until we cancel. So, we’re going back!! We leave on Monday for Location X!! This year, it’s ON!! Happy hunting Ryan!!

Scouting Trip - Jackson Hole

As most of you know, Ryan and I are getting married next summer. We had a difficult time deciding where to have the wedding. Neither St. Louis nor Louisiana seemed like the right place. We wanted a destination wedding, somewhere a little exotic, with our closest friends and family there. We opted against the traditional beach wedding (we'll save the beach for the honeymoon) and decided we wanted to get married in the mountains! Exciting! But, there are a lot of mountians in this country...where do we go?

We started looking at a number of places online: Aspen, Vail, Breckenridge, Telluride, Lake Tahoe, Sun Valley, Jackson Hole, Park City, Steamboat, Keystone, Big Sky, etc. We liked the idea of Jackson Hole, Wyoming - its an up-and-coming but laid-back Western ski town nestled in between the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone. Jackson Hole had the most amazing quintessential mountain views and we really loved the feel of it's open ranges and roaming bison (they are NOT buffalo). The more we tried to convince ourselves that it would be closer and maybe cheaper in Colorado, the more we really started to love Jackson Hole more. So, after about a month of discussing pros and cons, we picked Jackson Hole.

So, I leave for Jackson Hole tomorrow for my first scouting trip out there to look at places and venues for the ceremony and reception. I can't tell you how excited I am!! Most appropriately for this Mother's Day weekend trip, my mom is going with me. Isn't that sweet?! My wonderful wedding coordinator has set up about a million appointments for us with hotels, ranches, photographers, florists, restaurants, and even a band. We're going to be busy, but I think we're going to have a fantastic time.

Cabo San Lucas

My post marathon reward to myself (one of the many) was a 5 day girls’ trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with eight of my sorority sisters (I was an Alpha Delta Pi at MU). This was a great opportunity to catch up with old friends and become closer to a few girls that I didn’t really know too well. By the end of the trip, we were all definitely feeling like family (sisters, if you will ;-) haha)!!

We stayed at the Riu Santa Fe, a brand new all inclusive resort right on the beach – directly across the harbor from Lover’s Beach and the famous Cabo rocks. The food was pretty good, and the tequila flowed like water (without the bacteria). We had a number of pools (with bars) that we definitely took advantage of. The waves on the beach were killer (Kirsten and I got mauled and almost died), but were spectacular and beautiful. We did some zip-lining (canyoning) in the desert; we kayaked out to Lover’s Beach (and its opposite, Divorce Beach); we had an incredible meal and margaritas at The Office; and spent one fun party night out on the town of Cabo dancing (Cabo Wabo, the Zoo, Squid Row). The weather was fabulous, sunny, warm but not hot or humid. My only complaint was that I think I wore too much sunscreen! I have more tan lines from 5 hours of running the marathon than I do for 5 days in Cabo. Go figure!

I don’t have everyone’s pictures yet, but here are a few of my favorites so far.

All the girls in the infinity pool.
Zip-line (Kirsten above, Traci below)

Kirsten dancing on the bridge.

Lindsey and Jenny kayaking.
(Pictures are a little blurry due to sunscreen and massive waves)

Traci and Debbie battling the waves.

Me, Jen, Jenny and Lindsey.

Pictures of Lover's Beach and Arch.

All the girls on the beach.

Behind the bar at Cabo Wabo.

The Office.

Post Marathon Update

Well, it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I’ve had a lot of people ask me if I’ll continue this blog, now that I’m not training for the marathon. Originally, I didn’t think so. But after doing this for a while, I kind of like having a place to share what’s going on in my life with friends and family (and the rest of the internet community). So, I may not be able to give weekly updates on my life (it’s not that exciting), but I’ll continue to keep you updated on my running, races, thoughts, plans, ideas and activities.

So, it’s been almost a month since the marathon. I’ve only managed to run 20 something miles in the last three plus weeks – which is less than I have been running on just Saturday mornings. Pathetic, I know. It’s been a nice break, but I really miss running. I think I have a mild case of Post-Marathon Depression. Training for this race has been such a huge part of my life over the last half year; I’m a little lost without it. It was such an amazing feeling to set your mind on a certain goal and do everything possible to achieve it. Now, I’m goal-less. I’m feeling rather lazy and undisciplined as well. I miss the energy and excitement that comes from running.

What I really want to do is run another marathon! I know, right? CRAZY!!! Who would have imagined that I would love it so much? It was just the most amazing experience and I want that feeling back! To my happiness, this is exactly the way I hoped I’d feel after the marathon. I’ve heard so many people say after their first marathon that they’ll never run another marathon again, or just never run again, period. That scared me. I really wanted to train wisely (physically and mentally) and then just enjoy myself during the race (to the extent one can possibly enjoy running for nearly 5 solid hours). If I could do that, I’d have a positive experience and want to keep running and possibly want to run another marathon. Mission accomplished.

But, as you can tell from reading this blog, marathon training is very intense and most of all, time consuming. It really took a toll on my relationship, friendships, social life and career. Not to say that it isn’t worth it, but it’s hard to think that I’m ready and willing to do that again so soon. Ryan would probably hate me and I’d most likely get fired. So, maybe it’s not worth it. I said maybe… :)

That being said, I need to do something to keep myself active, so I’ve decided to set a few new running goals for the remainder of the year. They’re not really new (see New Year Goals post), just awoken (is that a word?) from their winter hibernation. They mainly have to do with improving my times from previous races and getting some company out there on the road. So, here they are:

1. Run a 5k around 28:00
2. Run a 10k under 1:00
3. Run a Half Marathon under 2:00
4. Take Anna to a wheelchair race
5. Get Ryan to run with me more often

Simple enough, right? Ok then. I’ve signed up to run the St. Louis Science Center’s Run For the Stars 10k in Forest Park on June 7. That gives me just over a month to work on my 10k time. I’m also planning on running the Lewis & Clark Half Marathon again this fall, for the third time. This is a flat course, so I should be able to run it fast (fast for me, which is not really that fast). And just for fun, I’m thinking about doing the Columbia Half Marathon in October. I love Columbia (where I went to undergrad) and the course is a little hilly, but beautiful. So, that’ll be fun. And who knows, maybe I’ll reevaluate the goals in the fall and think about another marathon. In the meantime, there’s lots of wedding planning to be done. :

MTA: By the way, Rick and Lorna both kicked butt in their marathons. Rick finished Glass City Marathon, under awful miserable weather conditions (and a hurt leg) in 4:38:00. Way to HTFU!! Lorna gave Paula Radcliffe a run for her money, and finished the London Marathon in 4:42:43 (which means I was the closest to guess her finish time and she owes me dinner). You MUST read their Race Reports! Here is Rick's - Glass City Marathon. Here is Lorna's - London Marathon. Congrats to both of you AGAIN!

More Marathon Pictures

Action shot of Ryan taking our picture.

Still smiling around Mile 17.

Still going at Mile 21.

Abby and me after the race.

Me and Laura.

My support crew: Jacquie, Heather and Kasey.

go! St. Louis Marathon Race Report – April 6, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen, the race report we’ve all been waiting for. Five long months in the making and it’s finally over! It’s been a long journey, so this post is incredibly lengthy and rambling. I make no apologies for the length, I want to make sure to write down everything I can remember (you know, for the grandkids). I’m starting this race report a day early, in an attempt to capture the entire weekend of activities and excitement, but feel free to skip over the next few paragraphs of intro material to get to the good stuff if you can’t wait. I’m not fast, nor am I brief.

Saturday afternoon was spent in a whirlwind of packing, planning and last minute activities before leaving the house. True to form, I was a nervous wreck and Ryan was attempting to calm me down and placate my nerves. I know I must have been pretty difficult to live with this last week, and my darling fiancé is a total saint for putting up with me without killing me. We were spending the night at the Westin, downtown St. Louis with Team in Training so I had to have everything packed and be ready to go the afternoon before. I decided to wear a bumble bee pin on my tank in memory of Ryan Brown, who loved bumble bees (I’m a Beeliever). I also ironed my name on the front of my shirt and "In Memory of RDB" on the back – for Ryan Douglas Brown.

We arrived at the Westin just in time to check in and get downstairs for the TNT Pasta Dinner. To be honest with you, I wasn’t really feeling the TNT love at this point. I’d been having a lot of mixed feelings about TNT and a general lack of inspiration about the program. I loved the idea of running a marathon to raise money for a charity – and cancer research is about as great as they come – but I didn’t feel like I had the quintessential TNT emotional bonding experience that I anticipated. But all that was about to change.

My friend Lindsay, who previously ran the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon with TNT told me that her favorite part of the experience was the Pasta Dinner. Being a big fan of all things carb-related, I was already a fan. I figured it would be cheesy and sappy and inspirational and all of that good stuff. And it was…only better. Ryan and I sat at a table with Abby, her mom and a few coaches. We heard that together we had raised over a quarter of a million dollars for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I was at the top of the fundraisers, bringing in almost $5,000!!! We listened to a pediatric oncologist talk about how running had literally saved his life, and how TNT’s donations make a difference in the lives of the children he treats. We heard from a mother whose son had been diagnosed with cancer six times, fighting each time to overcome it. He was even there to talk about his survival and thank us (of all things). He will be starting college in the fall – how amazing. By the time I left, I felt so good about my decision to do this through TNT and so proud to have been a part of something that truly makes a difference.

Surprisingly, I slept rather well Saturday night. I guess I was making up for all the missed sleep from the week leading up to the race. I woke up Sunday morning around 5:00, groggy, but excited. I had all my race clothes laid out and ready, so I Body Glided up and got dressed. Breakfast was muffins and water, but I was too nervous to eat much. I packed a bag of emergency supplies (band-aids, lip balm, sunscreen, extra socks, Gatorade, etc.) for Ryan to carry and we went downstairs to meet up with the rest of the TNT crew. We left the hotel and walked up to the race in a sea of purple.

The temperature was in the low 40s, but was supposed to warm up to almost 70 degrees and sunny by noon. Perfect running weather. Abby and I had no trouble finding our training buddy Jenny, my friend Julie, who was running the half marathon and my mother, who would be our official race photographer. It was an amazing site to see the huge American flag hanging over Market Street with the old Capital Building and the Arch in front of us. We all walked up to the starting line together, with just enough time to snap a couple pictures before we were off!

The first six miles were fantastic and flew by. We were all so chatty and excited and having a blast. The race course took us through the historic Soulard neighborhood, where Julie and I had both lived for the past 4+ years, which held a lot of memories for us. We circled a park near the Anheuser Busch Brewery and headed back towards downtown. The sun was just starting to come up and we were warming up nicely. I couldn’t believe all the people out there cheering the runners on. And so many of them specifically cheered for Abby and I because we were wearing the Team in Training shirt. "Go Team!"

At mile 6 I spied my personal cheering crew of Ryan, his mom Bonnie and my best friend Kasey. I dropped my jacket off with them, smiled and waved and kept moving. About a mile later I saw my mom, which made me so happy that she was there, even though I’m sure she has no clue why her other-wise sane daughter would decide to do something as crazy as run a marathon.

With about 4 miles to go before Julie (and the rest of the half marathoners) turned around and heading back towards the finish line we started seeing the other runners coming back down, getting closer to their goal of 13.1. So, we cheered…loudly! We tried to give a shout-out to every single TNT runner we saw, with plenty more cheering for everyone else. And this just made it so much better for us. At one point I looked at Abby and said, "Do I dare say it? I’m having so much fun!"

We saw my mom again at Mile 10, who snapped some really great pictures of just how happy and excited we were.

After that, the half marathoners left us and the crowd thinned out dramatically. I couldn’t believe the difference as we entered Forest Park to emptiness and silence. It was about this point when I realized just how much farther and longer we had to go. Immediately I felt pretty drained and tired. This is also the part of the course that I know the best – and I know it’s really HILLY. But there was good news too: (1) we had paced ourselves very well and we were still exactly on track for finishing in between 4:45 and 5:00, which means we didn’t go out too fast (which I was terrified of doing); (2) Abby’s best friend just booked her wedding ceremony and reception venue, which turned out to be somewhere along the race course. She was going to be there waiting to surprise Abby with the news. How cute is that? (3) we were still together and having fun.

Forest Park is one of my absolute favorite places in the city. It’s HUGE at 1,293 acres (approx. 500 acres larger than Central Park) and has amazing monuments, historic buildings, wildlife, waterways and landscapes. I love running in the park and know it well; this was home turf. This was also about the time when other runners started talking to us. We were passed by an older gentlemen who said he was working on completing his 50 states marathon, fulfilling his Missouri requirement, and had previously run with TNT. He told us how much it meant to him and what an amazing experience it was. We also ran with a lady who said she was a leukemia survivor and was featured in one of the TNT pamphlets. She thanked us for doing what we were doing. Unbelievable!

When we got to the Forest Park Visitor’s Center, Abby’s friend was waiting there to tell her that’s where the wedding would be. It’s a beautiful venue and I’m sure it’ll be a fantastic wedding! Just down the road we met up with TNT coach Michelle, who told us how wonderful we were doing – as if we didn’t know it!! We got out of the park just to go up a massive hill that runs along the Washington University campus. There were a bunch of kids at one corner saying that their High 5’s were super-powered for extra speed. I made sure to give them all a High 5, just in case they were right.

We were at mile 16, Clayton was next. We were approached from behind by a red mini-van full of Abby supporters. Team Abby had signs, music, horns, and more excitement than we could have hoped for. It was great to see them. They sped off as we topped a hill and then saw my mom and Anna waiting for us. What an amazing site to see that little blonde smiling and clapping for me this time. Mom pushed her in the wheelchair along-side us for a while and told us she’d see us at the finish line. As I looked away and back to the course, there was Ryan again, waiting and smiling. I cannot express how amazing our support crews were. We were never too far from friends and family though the whole course.

The next few miles of the race (17-21) were perhaps the most painful. Abby and I both started to really hurt. Her knees were bothering her and my hips, quads and back were screaming. Our training runs never felt this bad, it must be the hills. The hills in the park, Clayton and University City were all miserable. There was a guy ahead of us that stopped running to take pictures of every hill we ran because he said people didn’t believe him that this course is so hard and hilly. I believe you! But there were also a few runners that kept us smiling. The former TNT runner that we met earlier showed up again and asked me about RDB. It felt great telling him all about Ryan Brown and his family as I was pushing myself like that.

At mile 21 we saw Ryan, Bonnie and Kasey again! I love you guys. At this point I really wanted to stop. I told Ryan my legs were dead and he smiled and told me how proud he was of me and to just keep going. I really needed to hear that. As we entered Forest Park again Abby said her knees were hurting her too bad to keep running. She wanted to walk a while and told me to just keep going. I didn’t want to go without her. Never leave a man behind. But she told me to go, and I knew if the roles were reversed, I would want her to keep running. So I ran.

It was a lonely last couple miles to the end. At this point I just had to pick a spot on the course ahead of me and run towards it. When I got there, I’d pick another. And repeat. Luckily there was a lot of TNT support to help me along in the last 2 miles. I bet at least 6 TNT people took turns running beside me and encouraging me to keep going. Towards the end, my coach Rhonda was there with a smile and more kind words. Thank you all. And once I got close to that big American flag again, I saw my friends Jacquie and Heather. I know I didn’t (couldn’t) show it at the time, but it was so great to see you two! Heather ran beside me for a block or two until I made that final turn into the corral of spectators and saw the finish line.

Rounding the corner at the finish.

What an unbelievable feeling!! I was all alone. Everyone there was cheering for ME. I was laughing and crying. I saw my mom as tears poured down my face. I crossed the finish line in 4:53:21.

My medal and finisher's cap.

My support crew: Bonnie, Kasey, Jacquie and Heather.

My proud coach.

I also want to congratulate Abby, who finished in 5:08:02. You rock!! And Julie finished her second half marathon in 2:19:56. Great job ladies!!

I'm a Beeliever, in Memory of Ryan Douglas Brown

(June 29, 2000 - July 10, 2005)

Anna’s 50 Yard Dash Race Report

I think my favorite thing about running has been sharing the experience with so many other people. Running has given me the opportunity to bond with my family and friends in a new way, unite with my community and make connections with absolute strangers (this website is a great example). I love sharing this passion with others and find myself talking about running to everyone I meet, including my clients, my colleagues and random people in the grocery store. Most importantly, running has given me the opportunity to be a role model for a little girl that will never run on her own, Anna.

Anna is my cousin’s daughter, she is 4 years old and has spina bifida. She was born with a gap in her spine and is paralyzed from the chest down. Anna is an amazing kid; she’s smart and funny with an over-active imagination and a million stories to tell. She loves swimming, crafts and horse-back riding. And most recently, she has taken up “running.”

Back in November, Anna ran her first race and was amazing. Click HERE to read all about it. She absolutely loved the excitement of it and she’s been patiently waiting all winter to run again. So, with the St. Louis Marathon this weekend and all the related activities, we signed her up for the Youth Run – 50 yard dash.

It was a hectic morning. I didn’t sleep well again; pre-race jitters for my first ever marathon tomorrow morning. I got a phone call from my mom as I was leaving the house around 9:00 a.m. saying she was at Forest Park and looking for the race in a sea of people and traffic. I got there as fast as I could, worried that I might have to park a ways from the race and scared I’d miss it. The race was to begin at 9:45. I got to the start line with a few minutes to spare and couldn’t find mom and Anna anywhere. I called and she said that they went to get food and they’d be there in a little while. Apparently she thought the race started at 10:45 and was miles away. Uh oh.

Luckily, the race was a little unorganized and kids and parents were scattered everywhere, not paying a lick of attention to the announcer trying to get them lined up. This gave mom and Anna enough time to fly into the parking lot, unload and sprint to the starting line. In a whirlwind, we got her number pinned on her and into the correct corral before the gun went off.


Of course, Anna was wearing her bunny slippers again…because bunnies are fast.


I’m not sure if she had a clue what the hell was going on, but Anna started “racing” - pushing her wheels as fast and hard as she could. She’s very shy, but the crowd support and cheering was fantastic and she loved every minute of it. She kept looking around at the crowd and the other kids and smiling as she pushed and pushed. The course was slightly uphill, to her disadvantage, but she finished victoriously and lined up to get her medal and goodie bag.



Anna proudly wore that medal and showed it off to everyone that stopped to talk to her about it. She told everyone that she won because she was so fast and her prize was getting to go to the zoo. Congratulations Anna!! I know that finishing my marathon tomorrow will be an amazing experience, I can only hope that it's going to be nearly as wonderful as running with you. I can’t wait until our next race!!

Week # 20 - Taper Madness

First of all, tapering sucks. I’m seriously going out of my mind!! I’ve heard other runners say that the toughest part of marathon training isn't the first few weeks out the door. Or the slow grinding buildup of mileage. Or the dedication and commitment it takes to train 4-6 days a week. Or even the last sweat-soaked long run of 22 miles. It's the three weeks before the race…the dreaded TAPER.

Let me back up and explain this tapering phenomenon to those of you who don’t run, or haven’t trained for a marathon. Tapering means a decrease in running during the last few weeks of marathon training. You run less and rest more. Tapering allows your muscles to repair the micro-damage of intervals, your energy systems to store up glycogen, your body to overcome the chronic dehydration of hard training, and that last bit of tendonitis in your knee or ankle or hip to finally go away. All in all, tapering enables your body to recover from all the stress from the previous months of training and be in prime condition for competition.

All this rest sounds well and good, right? No. Tapering is a period of great anxiety for many runners. Over the course of training for a marathon, runners develop not only a physical but also a psychological dependency on running. They become accustomed to running a lot of miles every week and constantly feeling the rush of endorphin driven highs and the persistent fatigue and soreness of effort. So when runners take time off, they go through withdrawal, not unlike the addict going cold turkey. Needless to say, this is the time where most marathoners go a bit crazy! The runner will be irritable, anxious, nervous, overly emotional, short-tempered, restless, tired, cranky, and depressed. Sounds like a great couple weeks doesn’t it?

At first, it’s not too bad. It’s really like most "easy weeks" following a twenty mile run. Recovery is critical and the mileage is not dropping by a large amount. You’re ok with resting because you know you need it after your final long run. But then your nerves begin to fray and doubt starts setting in. It’s about this time when every small ache and pain is confused for a broken leg or torn ligament or some other severely traumatic injury. Every twinge becomes a reason to think about postponing the marathon or a reason why it can’t be run. Every sneeze, sniffle, cough or pimple becomes a life-threatening virus or infection. Tight hamstrings, inflamed ITB, tweaked Achilles, plantar fascitis, black toenails, blisters, chafing, etc. can each inspire its own panic attack.

Next comes the depression. You start to really miss running. There are no more double-digit runs before the marathon. The longest run for the next two weeks will be just 6 miles. That’s it! The body is starting to recover and therefore has more energy than needed. You become restless and have more energy than you thought possible. But no "extra" running is allowed – so it’s torture! It’s as if you can feel the fitness draining out of your body. You feel fat and lazy and slow!! This restlessness often becomes frustration and perhaps a very short-temper. Please understand that this frustration will be projected at anyone and everyone within reach. It’s nothing personal; it’s the lack of mileage talking.

With only a week left, the self-doubt and worry kick in. Here are just a few things that run through my head every few minutes: "I’ll never make it. My foot hurts. Why did I sign up for this? My nose is running. My ankles hurt. I’m not ready. My leg hurts. My last run sucked. My knee hurts. I’ll die out there. My calves hurt. I’m getting fat and slow. My toes hurt. I shouldn’t have skipped that 4 mile run back in January. My throat hurts. What if I twist an ankle in my heels? What if I fall down these stairs and break my leg? What if I get in a car wreck? What if I drop something heavy on my foot? My shoes are dead, my shoes are too small, my shoes are too big, my shoes are too white." Ahhhh!!!

Screw March Madness, this is taper madness. Every day this week I've woken up with a new symptom that I'm getting horribly sick. At least 18 times I've had some weird ache or pain or cramp that convinces me that I might not be able to run the marathon this weekend. And then it mysteriously goes away when I stop thinking about it. I’ve had worst-case scenario nightmares nearly every night for the last month. I can't stop coughing for some reason. My head is full of allergy-induced snot. I'm pretty sure I've gained about 35 pounds. I’m an emotional wreck - Monday night I cried for two solid hours about absolutely nothing! And last night I only got 1.5 hours of sleep - I was freaking bouncing off the walls with energy all night.

I’m also finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything other than the upcoming race. I have to talk about it with every single person I see, whether I know them or not. I mention it to strangers in the elevator, on the phone, at the grocery store. I send emails to everyone in my address book with constant updates on my training and state of mind. I nearly bored our veterinarian to tears with my worries about the race and the weather this weekend. And then I harass friends that have run a marathon before asking them repeatedly if this behavior is normal.

My nerves are killing me too. Up until now, when people asked if I was nervous, I could honestly say no and believe it. I was confident! But now things have changed. As I look at pictures of the course map and watch the virtual tour online, I realize that it looks REALLY long! I mean really really long! Ack!! I know I have to be confident in my training. I know I can do this. I know I’m ready. I know I’m being crazy. :) Only 4 more days to go!!!

Week # 19

I was really surprised at how quickly my legs recovered after Saturday’s long run of 22 miles. I took an ice bath and a long nap, but I was out dancing in heels Saturday night! Of course, I was sore the next day, but not nearly as bad as I expected. That’s a good sign! And although my legs didn’t hurt, I was definitely tired and worn out. I couldn’t motivate myself to do much of anything over the next few days. I took Sunday off, and tried for an easy 5 miler on Monday on the treadmill. No such luck. After 2.5 miles I gave up. And I just couldn’t get motivated on Tuesday and Wednesday. Sad, I know. But it was taper time. Resting is more important now than running. It didn't take much to convince me that it was ok to skip a couple runs this week to make sure I was "well-rested." :)

The weather on Thursday was beautiful and I was determined to get a run in outside. I sat in my office all morning longing to go home and run. Finally, around 5:30 I bolted for my car and drove as fast as I could to get home and run. Traffic was horrible and it took me nearly an hour to get home, changed and out the door. I wanted to get in 6 miles before it got dark and Ryan started to worry. So I needed to kick it up a notch. After a few days of resting, I was finally ready to run.

There are some days, where the running gods align all the elements to create the "perfect run." This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it makes up for all the hundreds of long miserable miles of not-so-great runs. These "perfect runs" are what keeps a runner coming back again and again, through the rain, sleet, snow, hail, ice, heat, and humidity. Perfect runs happen when all the conditions are just right: the right weather, the right time of day, the right distance, the right attitude, the right songs on the iPod. For that one run, everything is perfect.

I have had maybe 2 "perfect runs" in my three year running career. They are definitely few and far between. I’ve had lots of "good runs" and plenty of "not-so-great runs," but the "perfect run" is pretty elusive. It usually happens when you least expect it – when you’ve had to force your fat tired ass out the door nearly in tears because you just don’t want to run that day. So you can imagine my surprise when I began running on Thursday night to find that everything felt really good.

I’m not fast. But for some reason, I wanted to run fast. I’m usually pretty happy with consistent 10:30 minute miles. Anything faster is reserved for races. I decided to see how fast I could push myself for a new 5k time. Anything under 30 minutes would be great. Surprise surprise, 5k time was 28 minutes. I felt like I was flying. And I felt great, so I kept going. I turned my 6 mile run into a 10 mile run. At the 5 mile turn around point I noticed it starting to get dark, so I picked up the pace again. I had no idea if or for how long I could keep up this pace. I figured I would crash somewhere around mile 7. But I just kept going. I repeated Rhonda’s mantra – I am fast, I am strong – over and over in my head. By the time I got back to the house, I was convinced…I was FAST…I was STRONG. It was a perfect run!

My mile splits:
1 - 9:30
2 - 9:20
3 - 9:03
4 - 9:10
5 - 9:15
6 - 8:57
7 - 8:51
8 - 8:40
9 - 9:05
10 - 8:57


Weekly recap:

Monday: 2.5 miles
Thursday: 10.5
Saturday: 12.0

Total: 25.0 miles

Week # 18

I started the week off still in West Palm Beach, with a lot of work to do and very little time to run. I didn’t have a chance to take an ice bath on Saturday after my 20 mile long run, so my legs were incredibly sore and achy on Sunday. I tried stretching and walking around as much as possible, but it’s hard to read contracts and agreements on the move. Late Sunday night, I was lying in bed in my hotel room with screaming legs. I’d tried Advil to no avail. It was late, but I decided there was only one way to make myself feel better, so I laced up my shoes and hit the treadmill in the gym. I finished five miles close to 1:00 am. I felt better immediately.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. Work a lot, run a little. I had decided that I wanted to rest up to prepare myself for Saturday’s longest and final long run of training – 22 miles. Yikes! Mentally I knew if I could get beyond the 20 mile mark, I would be ready for the marathon. This would be a really tough run for me. Even though I’ve done 20 twice, I was absolutely ready to stop at the end of both those runs. I didn’t know if I would be able to work up the energy to keep going after that 20 mile point. It would definitely be my biggest challenge yet.

Friday was spent in mental preparation for the run. Ryan and I had a casual dinner with our friends Brooke, John, Megan, Robert and Michelle. I don’t know how John did it, but that was the best damn Boca burger I’ve ever had! Delicious! I went home early to hydrate and get my stuff ready. I laid out my clothes, checked the weather about a dozen times (rainy and cold), charged my iPod and Garmin, packed my Sport Beans and Gatorade, hunted for safety pins, decided on breakfast, and drank about a gallon of water. Ready.

Saturday morning I woke up the first time the alarm went off. That never happens!! I was actually wide awake, but I didn’t want to go! It was cold, dark and rainy outside. I checked the weather (again) and the forecast hadn’t changed – rainy, cloudy, cold the rest of the day. I was kicking myself for not running on Friday with sunny perfect weather. Just my luck. I would’ve given an arm to go back to bed.

I pulled up to Grant’s Trail, our TNT group training meeting place, with about 1 minute to spare. I was worried that they would send the other long distance runners out ahead of time, leaving me to run on my own. Or I was worried that there would be no one there running this distance with me and I’d have to do it by myself. With both my previous 20 milers done alone, I really wanted some company on this run. To my absolute delight, Abby was there. Yay!! Abby’s the girl I ran with a few weeks ago on my 16 miler. She’s energetic, happy, funny, and a great person to talk to over the miles. I couldn’t believe how much we had in common and we had a great time running together before. And as I signed in, I saw that she was doing 22 too. Perfect!!

So we were off. The first few miles I spent telling her all about Ryan’s proposal and our wedding plans. To me that’s the best thing in the world to talk about these days! Then we were joined by Jenny, who agreed to go the full 22 mile distance with us. And then the madness really began. We talked about nearly everything under the sun: boys, weddings, musicals, parties, books, weather, running, J-Lo’s babies, vacations, You Tube, dogs, jobs, kids, wine, friends, real estate, etc. It sprinkled on us a little bit, but luckily we didn't get the rain that was expected. It was overcast and cool, but the weather didn't bother us at all.

At mile 8, Grant’s Trail ends. Our options were to turn around and run back to the trailhead, and then tack on a 3 mile out and back (for a total of 22 miles) or run 6 miles around Kirkwood before getting back on the trail and running back. We opted for the latter. So we took off and made it all the way to Manchester, turned around, went through downtown Kirkwood, stopped at Kaldi’s for a water break and meandered our way back to the trail. It was a nice change in scenery and split up the run for the monotonous landscape of the backs houses and buildings. This also insured us that we would end up at exactly 22 miles at the end of the trail, with no out and back required. We thought this was a better approach because that last out and back would be unbelievably challenging to get through once we were so close to our cars.

We stopped for a water break around mile 17 and found it incredibly painful to start running again once we had stopped for a minute. My legs were feeling really funny, and not in a good way. But we plowed through. It got harder and hard to talk or laugh, but Abby asked us questions about our favorite movies, restaurants, books and TV shows to distract us from the pain. Our next water break was even more painful than the last one. We had previously seen the video clip of the screaming runner that week, so we thought we’d give it a shot. Any time we were feeling the pain, we’d just start screaming! It was hysterical and it worked!

Our coach Rhonda met up with us around mile 21 and ran us in. It was such an amazing feeling to be finished. I can’t even describe how proud of us I am!! I never thought I’d be able to run 22 miles – I’ve come a really long (literally) way to get here. It’s now time to taper and rest up for the big day. I’ve put in the time and miles – I’ve put my heart and soul into this challenge. I’m mentally and physically ready for this marathon!!! Bring it on!!!

Mile splits:
1 10:41
2 10:37
3 11:17
4 10:53
5 11:05
6 11:04
7 11:21
8 11:10
9 11:12
10 11:05
11 11:05
12 11:43
13 11:15
14 11:22
15 11:04
16 11:01
17 11:04
18 11:30
19 11:16
20 12:39
21 11:48
22 11:47

Weekly recap:

Sunday: 5.0 miles
Tuesday: 5.25 miles
Wednesday: 5.0 miles
Saturday: 22.0 miles

Total: 37.3 miles

Here's the video of the "Screaming Runner" - try it, it works!!