Running from the Law: February 2013

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

New Mommy Confessions - Part 14

Another installment of New Mommy Confessions here!  Today we've got the lovely Lacey from The Perks of Being a JAP - a New Yorker with a love of beer and the prettiest little daughter, Sadie.  And Sarah from a Buckeye in Badgerland - mama to absolutely adorable baby boy Paxton.  Hope you ladies didn't think I forgot about you!  Nope, just insanely busy and up to my eyeballs in snot.  I'm still loving this "Confessions" series, so if anyone else wants to contribute (or any previous contributors want to add new confessions), I'm all ears!  Send me an email!  

*  I will often let Sadie play with things that aren't meant for babies (clean laundry, magazines, my cell phone...electronic cords) just so she is entertained for a few moments.

*  She's terrified of our Roomba, and refuses to be on the floor when it is running. This doesn't stop my husband and I from trying to put her down while it's going for our own amusement to see her try and frantically climb up on us.

*  The first three months of her life were HARD. My sister-in-law told me flat out "the first three months suck - and NO ONE tells you that." They sucked. I was sleep deprived, hormonal, and Sadie's witching hour was killer. 7-9pm. Every night. Like clockwork.

*  That being said... I have to admit that I wasn't "in love" with my daughter right away. I certainly loved her, and would kill for her, but I didn't really fall in love with my daughter until a couple months in.
*  Bath time happens... not every day. What? She doesn't (really) sweat! And she hates it, so why bother as long as she smells good? Horrible, I know.

*  There's no way I could be a stay at home mother. I get the crazy stare when I say this, but honestly, being a working mother makes ME a better mom. This isn't true for everyone, but it is for me.

*  Paxton gets a bath on average 1.5 times a week. We're hanging on to that "newborns don't need to be bathed often" thing we were told at the hospital. He's 3 1/2 months now. Bath time occurs when I look up at my husband and say "He sort of stinks. Bath tonight?"

*  I don't strap him onto his changing table and I walk around the room while he lays there. He's now at rolling age so I know this needs to stop. Let's be honest, though, it won't.

*  Paxton smiles way more for me than for my husband. Secretly, I like this. I know it's probably because I'm the one home with him all day and his food source and not because he likes me more, but I still enjoy it. Sorry I'm not sorry.

*  My husband and I were slightly happy about Paxton having a fever after his 2 month vaccinations. He slept more than normal and we had a nice, quiet evening.

*  All parents think their baby is the cutest, but we all know there are ugly babies out there. I have a fear of having one of those babies and not knowing it. Seriously, no one ever tells those people the truth.

*  No song is safe from having its lyrics changed to be about Paxton. Cee Lo, Usher, and Chamillionaire (among others) would cringe hearing what my husband and I have done to their melodies.

*  So many moms say they don't want their babies to grow up. Paxton's adorable at this age, but I'm so ready for him to tell me what he wants and play independently. At the same time, I'm terrified of having an older child because he'll realize I'm not cool.

*  I eat while nursing and if it's something like toast, Paxton is covered in crumbs when I'm done. Remembering what I said about baths, you best believe I just wipe him off and continue with our day.

*  I second almost every other confession I've read in this series. Don't sweat the small stuff, moms-- Our children are happy and healthy (germs build up the immune system!) so we're doing okay :)

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Snot, Snow and Plans to See a Show

- In the last couple weeks I've met TWO local bloggers in real life.  What!  Yes, and despite my husband's concerns that they'd turn out to be murderers/stalkers/weirdos/freakazoids, they were actual REAL awesome, genuine, amazing, wonderful people.  I kinda understand my husband's paranoia about meeting a person that you "met" on the internet, but does that even hold true anymore?  Everyone's online, not just the crazies.  Yes, perhaps it's taking a chance that you might not hit it off or have much in common or know what to talk about, but I never seem to have that problem (probably because I just talk and talk and never shut up).  First I met up with Liz from Will There Be Cake.  Y'all, she is awesome!  She has a son about the same age as Mac (remember her awesome guest post on New Mommy Confessions HERE) and we talked nonstop for nearly two hours before I realized I had to get back to the office.  I could have talked to her for days about how amazing being a mama is and our crazy families and what our boys are doing at this age.  I hope we can get together soon for a playdate!  And the following week I met Jessica from I Want Adventure.  Her hubby just graduated from the same law school that my hubby and I went to and it was so much fun getting to relive some of those law school memories.  She was awesome and had great stories and the most awesome voice.  Plus, I've never met a Texas girl that I didn't love, so that was a no brainer.  We're hoping to double date soon!  Unfortunately I didn't get photos at either meeting.  Fail.

(the next Duck Commander in training)

- I'm in the process of planning Mac's baptism in April.  It's going to be a small private ceremony, followed by a light lunch at my in-laws, with immediate family only. Easy right?  Well, the party planner is me is DYING to make this much more complicated than it needs to be.  I want thick luxurious letterpress invitations, gourmet crustless finger sandwiches, a beautiful layer cake with fondant and buttercream icing, decorations in whites and pale blue, bouquets of lilies and tulips, an expensive christening gown made of the finest linens and lace, fancy sugar cookies in the shape of crosses for party favors.  I mean, come on.  Not at all necessary.  And yet, I can't help it!  I keep telling myself that I just need to chill the eff out on this one and then I can go all out on his first birthday (which is only a month after the baptism).  I can wait.  Right?  Well, maybe just a fancy cake?  Mmmm...cake.

- Yesterday we had a chili cook-off at work and I decided to enter.  Why on earth I thought it'd be a good idea, I have no freaking idea.  I spent all day Sunday trying to cook two giant pots of chili, while taking care of a sick husband, chasing around a rowdy baby, dealing with two wild dogs and trying to watch for fashion disasters on the red carpet.  Absolute fucking chaos.  However, one of the ingredients I used in the chili was beer, so every time I added a little to the chili, I added a little to my belly.  Perhaps drinking at 11 in the morning was not the greatest idea, but we all lived.  And the chili won!  I don't know how the hell that happened, but I'll take it!

- Last week we actually got the snow that was predicted (congratulations weathermen!).  5 inches or something.  It shut the whole damn city down.  Drivers suck.  I have 4 wheel drive, but I was stuck in a traffic jam for nearly 3 hours trying to get home from work because drivers stopped and couldn't make it up the hills on the highway.  Ridiculous.  However, there are some really good Samaritans out there.  The police were not only directing traffic, but pushing cars and helping stuck vehicles (above).  There was also a group of guys on Lindbergh Blvd. that probably pushed 30 cars up the hill so we could all get home.  They directed traffic and kept everyone updated on how things were going.  It was incredible.  My dumb ass wore a dress and heels to work that day, so I was stuck in my car and couldn't help.  However, I did finish Gone Girl while I was sitting there.  It was soooooo good!

- Our poor animals are being harassed and tormented by the baby.  I kinda feel bad for them, but then again, they are SO spoiled that I think it's good for them to be subject to a little abuse (over-love) now and then.  Mac just loves them SO much.  He loves climbing on them and pulling their tails and poking them in the eyes and picking their noses.  And as much as he likes the dogs, he absolutely can't control himself when he sees  the cat.  She's like this wild elusive creature living in our house that he must touch immediately.  He squeals at the top of his lungs in sheer delight when she appears, which of course freaks her the fuck out and she bolts.  It's hard being so loved.

(Traitor.  She sent this to Miss SP after a particularly rough weekend with the baby.)

- Everyone in my house (including our nanny) is sick again (still), except me.  Knock on wood.  I am SO over this winter.  Can it please just get warm already so we can air out our house and get rid of the germs and infestation.  It's like a never-ending battle of snot, drool, eye goobers and vomit.  Fucking gross.  Enough already!

 - I'm going to see Book of Mormon on Friday night and am ridiculously, incredibly, overly-excited.  I cannot wait!  Not only to see the show, but to see friends that I haven't seen in ages.  To have a girls night out.  Drinks, dinner, show, more drinks.  I've had these plans since August, I think.  Twenty bucks says I get sick and can't make it.

So that's my life.  Hope yours is less snotty and less snowy.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Life Lately (according to my iPhone)

We've been staying busy these days.  February is just flying by!  Work is kicking my butt and I've been living breathing and dreaming about compensation disclosures and governance issues.  We all had a bout of the stomach flu last week, which came on fast and furious, but thankfully didn't last too long.  Ryan's mom is a life saver and took care of Mac a couple days while we recovered.  Ryan lost 7 pounds and I gained 2.  Go figure.  I just got back from a much-needed overdue wonderful weekend in Breckenridge, CO with my girlfriends.  Ryan has spent the last two weekends fishing and hunting with the boys.  And Mac spent his first weekend away from mom and dad at the Farm with his grandparents.  I only called to check on him 43 times and only cried twice while I was gone, so I consider it a success.  The little dude is crawling 100 mph, pulling up on everything, standing with ease and even walking behind his push-toys.  I'm shocked that he's this big.  SHOCKED.  He's STILL got a bit of a head cold (going on 2 months now) and got some new meds from the doctor this morning for a little eye infection.  Poor kid.  It hasn't slowed him down a bit, though.  He now has 4 teeth and eats everything in sight.  He's gotten so solid - I can't wait to see what he weighs at his 9 month appointment next week.  We're gearing up for snow tomorrow (supposedly) and are looking forward to a weekend full of NOTHING.  I can't imagine anything better than snow outside, a fire inside, surrounded by furry pets, a snuggly baby, a giant glass of wine and a bald husband (yes, he shaved his head and I holy shit do I LOVE it).  Hope you all are staying warm!  

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day

I know I'm a couple days early, but now that Mac's Valentine's Day cards have been sent out I can share them with you and I can't wait any longer!



Two bottom teeth proudly on display, plus some tongue action, which is always sticking out of his mouth these days.

I used Tiny Prints again for the printing.  (I should seriously consider investing in that company.)

Outfit from Antsy Pants on Etsy.

Crappy photos and poetry by yours truly. (It is HARD getting an 8 month old to hold still!)

But I love the way they turned out!

Happy Valentine's Day
 to you and yours!

Friday, February 1, 2013

New Mommy Confessions - Part 13

Hi!  It's me.  No guest posters, just me confessing today.  I have a lot to get off my chest.  Here goes!

  • What is the deal with "mommy guilt" and does it EVER go away?  Why do I feel guilty about everything I do?  I feel guilty when I go to work in the morning.  I feel guilty if I run an errand without the baby.  I feel guilty when Ryan and I have a date night.  I feel guilty that I'm no longer breastfeeding.  I feel guilty when I'm on the floor playing around with him because maybe I should be doing more, like reciting the alphabet in French or teaching him long division.  Seriously, do you ever get to the point where you feel like you're doing a good job?  (I don't know, I'm asking you this.)  I think I'm doing pretty well with this whole mom gig so far - he's wonderful and healthy and happy - but will I always feel so guilty for not doing more?  

  • Since I've had Mac I have an unprecedented amount of ear wax in my ears.  What the hell is up with that?  Not sure if it has anything to do with to being a new mom, but I'm chalking it up to post-pregnancy body weirdness.  Other weird things: my right foot is significantly larger than my left foot, I cannot wear earrings without them itching like crazy and my hands now look exactly like my mother's hands. 

  • Sometimes I worry that my child is turning into a spoiled rotten brat.  He's got me so wrapped around his finger that I jump any time he makes a peep.  Apparently I don't have that gene that allows me to tune him out like his father does (seriously, do all men have this?).  Sometimes I realize I'm doing it and vow to let him deal with himself for just one hot minute before picking him up so as to not turn him into a whiny, needy, clingy brat...and then he whines and I jump.  Spoiled brat it is.  Maybe the next kid will have a chance.

  • Now that Mac's standing up on his own, we've lowered his crib mattress as far down as it'll go.  Good for him, bad for me.  It's LOW.  And I'm SHORT.  This means that when I put him down (if he's asleep in my arms, which he usually is because I'm a sucker and still want to rock him to sleep - this is a whole other confession on it's own though), I have to lean over  the crib railing as far as I possibly can and then drop him about 2 feet to the mattress.  Inevitably, he hits pretty hard and bounces and wakes up and screams.  Fuck.  How do you avoid this?  I've tried putting a stepping stool next to the crib rail, but I still have to lean so far over that my feet slip off the stool and I nearly fall into the crib on top of the baby.  Not a solution.'s what I've been doing.  I've started pushing the glider ottoman over to the crib.  Then I climb into the crib and gently lay him down.  And since I'm already in the crib, I just lay down next to him to make sure he's good and passed out.  And then sometimes I fall asleep in there next to him.  (Don't tell my husband I do this!)  Ok, so it's not a perfect solution, but it works!  And I get a few more minutes of baby snuggle time.  (See also previous confession regarding spoiled brat.)

  • I'm constantly surprised how similar having an 8 month old is to having a puppy.  They both drool a lot.  They both bite and scratch with their tiny little teeth and nails that are like razors.  They're both covered in dog hair.  They're both into everything.  They both go 100 mph and then just crash.  They both whine and squeal.  They  both chew on everything.  They both do tricks (sit, fetch and roll over).  They both annoy all the other pets in the house with their endless energy and constant attention seeking.  They both smell wonderful.  And they are both as cute as can be.  

  • I recently realized that Mac doesn't have single pair of shoes.  Not one.  How is that even possible?  I love shoes!  And baby shoes are adorable!  I know he doesn't need shoes - mainly because he wears nothing but feety pajamas, but also because he can't walk - but shouldn't he at least have a pair?  Should I go buy him shoes or do I just wait until he really needs them (for walking or because he starts wearing real clothes)?  Also, should he be wearing real clothes?  Are all the other moms secretly (or not so secretly) judging me because he only wears pajamas all day long?  Am I that mom?  

  • I miss my friends.  Terribly.  I really wish I was better about keeping in touch with my friends these days, but it is SO hard.  I never wanted to be that person that has a kid and drops off the face of the earth.  Or the one that ditches her kid-free friends and only spends time with other people with kids.  I hate those people.  But man, it's hard to find a good balance.  Especially when my time is already spread so thinly over baby, marriage and work.  I hope to be better.  I will be better.  I want Mac to know how important it is to have amazing friends and a strong support system.  I just happen to have the greatest friends in the world - I just need to be better about seeing them all.  And in the meantime I'm just going to profusely apologize to my friends.  Especially to those without kids who probably do not understand why I can't meet up for drinks after work or talk on the phone for 5 freaking minutes or even reply to a damn text message in a timely manner.  Sorry!  

  • Along these same lines, I also feel like I should offer a blanket apology to any of my "mom friends" who I may have pissed off or got impatient with before I had kids and "understood" what it was like.  A few weeks after I had Mac I remember wondering how I would EVER get anything done for the rest of my life.  Babies are SO time-consuming, especially in those first few months.  If I answered 1 text message or email a day I felt like I'd accomplished something.  How pathetic is that?  I actually remember a few years back being  pissed off at one of my stay-at-home-mom friends because it took her like 8 hours to respond to an email I sent her once.  I kept thinking, she's at home ALL DAY, why can't she just answer me?  What could she possibly be doing?  I want to go back in time and slap myself.  

  • Remember how I told you that Mac has a little girlfriend (Harper) in his gym class and he smiles and waves to?  Well, the nanny told me that this week that they held hands in class.  I wanted to die.  Not because this is cute, but because HE'S MINE!!  I thought I was going to be his first girlfriend, his first love!  My heart is broken.  Why is this happening already?  I am so done with this little Harper tramp.  I don't even know her, but she's not good enough for my son.  End of story.  Is this what moms feel like when their kids start dating?  How do you even let them out of the house?

  • At least once a week I get really nervous about this blog.  I love having a blog and having a creative outlet, but I worry about posting too many pictures of my baby or sharing too much information about him that he will resent me for later.  What happens if he grows up and hates that his life is out there on the internet for the whole world to see?  What if he is horrified that there are pictures of him in the bathtub on this blog and that I tell strangers about all the little intimate details of his babyhood?  I don't know.  I worry about how he'll react, whether he'll care, whether he'll be humiliated later.  Or maybe he won't think twice about it because he's growing up in an age of over-sharing on Facebook and mommy blogs.  Hopefully he'll realize I only do this out of love and because I'm proud of him.  I know I have to be careful, but how do you know how much is ok to post and what is crossing the line?  How do you choose how much to share of someone else's life when they don't have a say in it?  It's such a tough call.  I don't have an answer.  Obviously I'm still blogging and posting pictures of our little man, but it's always on my mind.  Anyone else have thoughts on this?

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series: