Brag on Dad Guest Post

I'm out of town today, but just wanted to let you know that I'm guest posting over at Always Painted, Usually Chipped as part of Kary's awesome Brag on Dad series.  I love gushing about my amazing husband, so head on over and try not to puke.  I laid it on pretty thick...I'm hoping to get a spa day out of this.  Or maybe just a nap.  Anyway, go check it out...preview below.

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We started trying for a family pretty soon after we got married.  A year into the process with no luck, things started getting intense.  Anyone that's battled infertility knows just how hard it can be on your marriage.  I wanted a baby so badly that it ruled my life, thoughts and actions.  My biological clock felt more like a ticking time bomb that had me in a constant state of panic and hysteria.  Not to mention that I was being pumped full of hormones and was poked, pricked and prodded by doctors like a lab rat.  Needless to say, I was a mess. But through it all, my husband was my rock.  

I can't speak for all men, but I don't think that guys feel the intense pressure of wanting a family like women do and oftentimes can't relate to the intense and overwhelming feelings we have on the subject.  My husband had a hard time understanding why the sight of a pregnant woman would send me into a panic attack or a why someone's Facebook post complaining about bratty children would make me cry hysterically.  I'm not going to lie you guys, he put up with a lot!  And yet he was sensitive and comforting and accepting through it all.  He never pressured me or made me feel like it was my fault.  He held my hand at doctor's appointments and laid next to me while I cried myself to sleep at night after another negative pregnancy test.  He always let me know that even if we couldn't have a baby, we would be fine and happy and become parents in some other way.  

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Thanks for having me, Kary!  

Full text of guest post here.

Tours on Tuesday

Hi everyone!  Today I'm honored and thrilled to be the featured Instagram guest poster for Emily over at Dear Owen & Co. for her Tours on Tuesday series.  Please feel free to follow along as I post some of my favorite photos of my kids' spaces.  You can see a few more details of Mim's nursery, a few shots of Mac's room and a sneak peek of our basement playroom (yet to be blogged about).  

Dear Owen & Co. on Instagram 

All About Mommy - Guest Post

I'm so honored today to be guest posting for Jen at Down with the Dearmores as part of her "All About Mommy" series.  I've really enjoyed reading all the guest posts from the fabulous mamas she featured and am just thrilled to be a part of it.  It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write about, but I eventually decided to give you a little less on "10 Things I've Learned as a Mom."  Some of them are sappy/sentimental (I'm a pregnant hormonal wreck these days) and some are just for fun.  I'd love it if you'd stop by and check out the post!  Leave a comment and let me know what your favorite is.  

Here's a little sneak peek of what you can expect:

Number 8. Don't ever underestimate your children.

Your kid will be smarter, quicker, sneakier, faster, trickier and craftier than you ever thought it was possible for a child to be.  Yes, you'll be proud, but you'll also be in TROUBLE if you think for a minute you're one step ahead of them.  You put the toy where he can't reach it...he'll find a way to move the couch so that he can climb up and jump across three other pieces of furniture, then scale the curtains to get it, along with your chapstick (which he just ate) and your wallet (the contents of which are now strewn about the room).  Do not turn your back on your kids...ever.  They will win (and something will get destroyed), I guarantee it.

Full post HERE.

Boy Moms - Guest Post

Hello!  I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  Despite more cold weather, we had a lovely rather uneventful weekend at home, except for the fact that Mac decided that he didn't need a nap AT ALL this weekend.  What?!!  Two days...zero naps.  This is not OK.  I don't think I realized how much we (as in me and Ryan) need that 2 hour break in the middle of the day to rest and recharge.  What is going on here?  Please tell me this was caused by a full moon or is just a phase and not indicative of what's to come.  He gave up his morning nap when he was only 9 months old, so I am NOT ready for him to give up that afternoon nap yet.  Ugh.  

Anyway, today I'm guest posting over on Elizabeth's blog, "Chain' Mason" as part of her Boy Moms Series, about what it's like being a boy mom and what has surprised me about having a boy.  It's a lot of talk about tractors and dirt and all things little boy.  I hope you'll head over there and check out what I had to say on the subject (or just check out the adorable photos of Mac).  I admit, I wanted to be a boy mom more than anything and it has not disappointed.  I'm excited and thrilled to be adding the title of "girl mom" to my resume this summer, but for now, this whole "boy mom" gig has been pretty darn awesome.  

Read my full post here.

Moms Make it Work - Guest Post

Today I am excited and honored to be guest posting over on Julia's blog - My Life In Transition - as part of her "Moms Make it Work" series.  I really hope you guys have had a chance to read some of the posts in this series - they're amazing (click that link to see them all).  Julia is putting together a collective voice of REAL women/moms, coming from all backgrounds, who have different ways of rocking motherhood. Some of us work full time outside of the home, some run businesses out of their home, and some are home with the kids full time or part time or any mixture of above.  Each guest poster has a chance to talk about how they "make it work" for their family.  In the constant battle of mommy-wars and who does it best, this series has been a really lovely way to support all moms, regardless of "working" status - because whether or not you're getting paid for it, if you're a mom, you're working your ass off.  

I'm thrilled to be able to share my "working" story over there today.  As a full-time working lawyer and mama, I'm no stranger to the "working mama woes."  I've always known I wanted to be a working mom, but when it came right down to it, the decision to go back to work wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.  I've included a little excerpt from my post below, but I hope you'll jump over to Julia's blog and read the whole thing (get some coffee first, it's wordy). 

"When we finally found out we were expecting, my husband and I had that much-anticipated conversation about what we were going to do for childcare once the baby arrived.  Our first choice would be whether I would stay home with the baby or go back to work.  Ryan and I have similar jobs and therefore similar salaries; if I left my position our household income would be cut in half.  We could definitely make it on one salary, but with a mortgage, car payments, insurance, bills and my (unbelievably high) student loans, it would require a lot of sacrifice and downsizing.  Not to mention it would be nearly impossible to save money for private schooling, family vacations, college funds and all the other things we were used to and wanted for our children.  I also worried a lot about being so reliant on my husband and his income.  I value my independence so much; it would have been a very scary feeling for me to give that up and been so dependent on someone else.  Financially, leaving my job didn’t seem like the right move for us.  In addition, leaving the workforce (and particularly leaving a flexible job that I loved) didn’t seem like the right move for my career, either.  I knew if I left, it would be very difficult to keep up with yearly continuing legal education requirements, bar association memberships and required fees and payments.  Plus, I worried about my credentials and experience being outdated if I took years off and tried to rejoin the legal work force later in life.  Who would ever hire me?  So, back to work it was.

However, I was really torn up about our decision.  I never imagined myself as a stay-at-home-mom, but I had a very difficult time with the thought of someone else raising my child.  We had tried so hard for so many years to get this baby, going back to work just three short months into his life felt like abandonment.  There were so many crazy thoughts running through my head at the time.  I wanted him so badly, how could I not then be there for him?  I knew a few hours in the evening and weekends with my baby were just not going to be enough time with him.  How would he handle being away from his mother all day?  How would I handle being at work while he was growing up and doing things as I was missing it?  How could I possibly be so selfish about wanting a career and to take vacations that it was worth missing out on his life?  I wanted to stay home (or so I thought).  So, Ryan and I made the decision that I would go back to work on a trial basis.  We’d try it out for three months and if things felt ok (meaning the world hadn’t ended), we’d give it another three months and make a final decision then.  If I still wanted to stay home, we’d figure out how to make it work.  That would also give us time to save money and give me a better idea about whether I could handle it.  Hypothetically assessing the situation while hormonal and pregnant was one thing – reality would prove to be another."

Full text of my guest post here. 

So please head over to Julia's blog and leave a comment.  I'll love you forever, ok?  :)  

The Sleep Chronicles

Hi y'all!  Today I'm honored to be guest posting over at Being Mrs. Beer, as part of her Sleep Chronicles series.  If you remember, Mac was a TERRIBLE sleeper until not that long ago (like yesterday).  We have been struggling with sleep for over a year and it's...well, fucking exhausting!  As we were trying desperately to figure out what we should do to get him to sleep better, I loved hearing about what other mamas were doing and how their babies were handling it.  Even if our situations were completely different, I always felt like I learned something and might store away a tip or two for future issues/children.  I remember emailing one of my favorite bloggers, Julia, repeatedly when Mac and her daughter CeCe were going through similar sleep regressions around 10 months.  It is hard!  Unfortunately, every child is different and there's no one way to fix a kid's sleep issues (if only it were that easy).  I think the most important thing you can do is to try to understand your child and come up with a method that you, as a parent, are comfortable with.  Yes, the good ole "trust your instincts" advice - I'm sure you've never heard that before.   

Anyway, other than that shining gem of wisdom, I don't really have any advice to pass on -- I'm far from an expert in this whole parenting gig, in case you haven't noticed -- I'm just telling our story.  And it's a good one (with a happy ending-ish) and will make you truly appreciate every second of sleep your child is currently giving you.  I hope you'll check it out - maybe leave a comment telling Jess what a great series this is and how beneficial it is for new mamas to hear other sleep struggles and suggestions.  

And just because I'm curious...how's your baby sleeping these days?  

Do you have one of those mythological babies that sleep through the night at 2 months old?

Do you have a toddler that's never slept through the night once?  

Spill!  

Our Journey to Parenthood - Guest Post

Hello Friends!  Today I'm honored to be guest posting over at Everyday Love in a series Leah is hosting called Our Journey to Parenthood about the struggles we go through to become parents.  Her goal for this series is to show readers that they are not alone when struggling with infertility and/or miscarriage.  As a new mom and a member of that awful miscarriage club, this series is something that Leah truly understands and she and I both feel passionate about.  Sharing our heartache and struggle with you is not only a great way to heal, but it's a wonderful way to connect with others who might be going through a similar situation and feel lost and alone.  It seems really appropriate that I share our story right now, since October is National Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

This is the first time I've written out exactly what we went through to get Mac.  My story isn't nearly as long and difficult as many other women's, but it was painful nonetheless to experience it and brought back a lot of heartache and raw emotion as I relived it to write the post.  I've always been slightly hesitant to put our story down in words for fear of being judged or ridiculed for something so personal and deeply important to us, but I'm looking at this as a healing exercise to deal with some of the pain leftover from our experience as we get ready to begin our journey all over again in hope of having another baby someday.  As I've said before, dealing with infertility this time around feels much different, but it's still a daily struggle to remain positive and hopeful.  I have my good days and bad days, like everyone else.  I hope that by sharing my story and some of the emotions I experienced I can help someone else out there that might also be struggling.  And despite the fact that we're going through this again, I feel like my story is one of inspiration...because at the end of the day, there's a beautiful baby boy waiting for me at home.  Regardless of what happens next, my story has a happy ending.  I hope with all my heart that everyone else's does too. 

Below are few snippets from my post.  I'd love it if you'd sneak over to Everyday Love to read the rest of my story and let Leah know what a wonderful series this is.  I'll love you forever. 

"What can I say about our journey to parenthood?  It starts out probably just like everyone else's...I spent my 20’s being careful - basically terrified of getting pregnant before I was “good and ready.”  I studied/worked hard and got a great job, I met and married the perfect man, I went off the pill and (at the ripe old age of 30) we started "trying" to get pregnant.  It was fun!  We talked about our future baby all the time, we got excited that this would be the month, we talked baby names and had the whole private vs. public school debate.  And then it didn't happen.  Month after month it didn't happen and I really started to get nervous..."

"At some point in our struggles to get pregnant I read an article on infertility that said something along the lines of, “if you want to be a mother, you will be a mother – you will find a way to make it happen.” This really stuck a chord with me. I was completely open to the idea of adoption, or surrogacy or doing whatever it took to get a child into our home. Of course I wanted my own children with my husband, but if that didn't work, there were other options to exhaust. I was so focused on “getting pregnant” that I wasn't thinking about the ultimate goal of just being a mom. Maybe we’d do an overseas adoption? Maybe we’d get an egg donor? Maybe we’d adopt a 10 year old that’s never had a real home? It didn't matter how it happened, but I knew right then that I’d make it happen and one day I would be a mom. That was the goal. That realization changed everything."

*Photos by the amazing Jodi of Fresh Art Photography