New Mommy Confessions - Part 15

- I haven't pumped in a week.  And OHMYGOD there are SO many emotions that I'm feeling about this: guilt, relief, pain, guilt, pride, frustration, guilt, success, failure, guilt.  Did I mention guilt?  Why do we mamas beat ourselves up over this stuff?  I have a freezer full of breastmilk and I'm finally going to get that time (and my body) back, so I can actually spend it with my kids.  And yet, I'm a mess about it.  I'm in a process of writing a whole post about pumping/breastfeeding and my boobs, so stay tuned.  I'm sure you're going to be glued to the edge of your seat in eager anticipation.  The way these blog posts are flying out of me like molasses it might be September, but it is coming.

- Mim now has 2 bottom teeth in her mouth and approximately 75 hairs on her head.  Progress.  Yet, it makes me incredibly sad.  Everyday I squeeze her really hard in the hopes that she'll just stay little forever.  It's not working. 

 - Things that I've said in the last week: stop licking your feet, please don't ride the dog like a horse, take the chicken nugget out of your pants, show mommy how the piggies eat, I'll give you a sucker if you will stop screaming, mommy needs love too, don't drink the bath water, stop scratching your butt, get off the counter, stop eating chapstick, knives are for grownups only, stop rubbing your poopy diaper butt on me, you will not die if your sister smiles at you, we don't eat paint, let's play the quiet game, don't pull the legs off that cricket, will you please share your chocolate with mommy and if you go to sleep right now I'll buy you a pony. 

 - I just realized that I haven't sent out thank you notes for any Christmas or birthday gifts. Add those to the ones I still need to send out for newborn gifts, and I am basically the worst person ever. Seriously, new moms should just get a pass on thank you notes.  It's not that I'm not grateful, it's just that I'm completely disorganized and a total asshole. 

 - I love having a girl.  I'm addicted to baby headbands and baby bows.  And baby moccasins.  And baby leggings.  And baby jammies.  And babies. 

- Is anyone else considering making their toddler get a job to make up for all the things he breaks or loses?  He's going to need to work serious overtime to pay me back just for all the hats and gloves he's lost this winter.  And it's only the beginning of February.  And can we talk about the hell that is putting on toddler gloves for a minute?  What did I ever do to deserve that?    

- I've been struggling with how to disciple Mac lately. Especially when he won't share.  We've tried lectures, time-outs, taking away privileges...nothing works.  I asked my friend Claire about this a while back and she gave me the single greatest piece of parenting advice ever, which I've now tried and will admit that it works brilliantly.  I'll even share it with you today.  She said, when dealing with bratty kids, "Every now and then, you just need to go batshit crazy on them. Freak out, lose your mind and scream just enough to scare them so that they know that you're slightly unhinged and could lose it completely at any moment.  If you need to, take the toy they're fighting over and dramatically throw it in the fucking trash and tell them to deal with it.  They'll get it together real quick after that." I love her.  And it totally works.  You're welcome.

 - Things I want for Valentine's Day: 18 straight hours of sleep, a case of champagne, Botox, a mute button for the kids, a clean house, my pre-pregnancy breasts and some more baby moccasins.  Not necessarily in that order.  

That's it.  I'm out.

More New Mommy Confessions:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8
Part 9
Part 10

Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14

Holiday MOMents

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It's also the most stressful and expensive and exhausting time of the year.  I don't know if it's the cookie-induced sugar-highs or all the temptations of lights and new toys or just life with a toddler, but we've been having our fill of holiday moments (or "MOMents," as Sprout calls them).  I'm thrilled to be working with The Sprout Channel this month to celebrate all of those crazy MOMents that make life...well, life.  Consider this my Holiday Edition of "New Mommy Confessions."  We're keeping it real around here...

--  I ordered this adorable Advent Calendar from Pottery Barn Kids back in November and it's been hanging up in the perfect spot in our house since Thanksgiving.  I had grand plans to fill it with fun Christmasy activities and little treats for Mac.  It's now December 17th and I have yet to put anything in the calendar or even write down one single activity for us to do.  It's now just a constant daily reminder about how quickly the days are passing and how I'm totally slacking at this whole holiday-spirit thing.  Maybe next year.  #momfail

--  I've been letting Mac play with all his "gifts from Santa" for a month now.  They're scattered around the house and the playroom.  A few days before Christmas I figure I'll just gather them all up (if I can find them or remember what they were) and wrap them for a Christmas morning delivery.  He also helped pick out most of them (he carried a giant stuffed horse around the store for an hour; I couldn't say no). I feel slightly guilty about this, but figure he won't remember anyway, right?  (please say yes) (also, what am I going to do with a giant stuffed horse?!) #santafail

--  Mac has turned a corner and now HATES the camera.  I can't get a good photo of this kid to save my life anymore.  If I'm holding the camera, he will not look at me, will not smile, will not hold still for one second.  And it's not just me.  We've had 2 different photographers try to get good shots of him over the last month and he WILL NOT COOPERATE.  The mamarazzi in me is going crazy about this.  #justsmiledammit

--  We have entered the Toddler-Drama Zone within the last couple months.  We all live in a constant state of fear about if and when the dreaded meltdown will happen and over what.  I used to think people were exaggerating when they said their child would cry about stupid shit like their grapes being cut or toys being moved, but I'm now living with a tiny little monster that throws fits for absolutely no reason at all.  Major fits - for things like making him wear a shirt or not letting him dump water all over the floor or putting his snack in the wrong blue bowl.  Ugh.  It makes me never want to leave the house again.  And we're not even close to the terrible twos yet!  #toddlerdrama

"My mom made me wear gloves!"

--  Three days after Mac turned 18 months I finally got around to calling his pediatrician to schedule his well-visit.  I felt awful for waiting so long, especially since I knew our doctor wouldn't be available for months and we'd have to see a different doctor (again).  So imagine my surprise when the nurse told that Mac already had an appointment scheduled for the following week...and another scheduled for the week after that.  Yep, I'd already called and scheduled the same appointment TWICE before and didn't remember making either appointment.  So that makes THREE TIMES that I made the exact same appointment.  WTF is wrong with me?  Seriously embarrassing.  I bet the nurse thinks I'm on drugs....maybe I am, I don't remember.  #losingmymind

--  Despite all the drama, when he's not throwing a fit Mac continues to amaze me with how smart he is.  He picks up new words daily and his vocabulary has really exploded over the last few weeks.  He's counting and identifying colors and letters and understands way more that I ever imagined he would at this age.  He loves books and has even started "reading" to himself.  He sings and practices talking all the time, which is absolutely adorable.  We're getting better at figuring out what he wants, but still have a ways to go.  He always seems to be one step ahead of us and I am by no means a mind-reader.  I'm convinced that any day now I'm going to wake up to him asking me how I slept and telling me he'd like eggs benedict and a latte for breakfast.  #boygenius

--  We've spent the last four Christmases traveling - skiing or beaches.  Rough life, I know.  This year we decided to stay here and celebrate Christmas in our own home.  We wanted to decorate our house and get a giant tree and start traditions with Mac that we can carry on for years.  We want to take a horse-drawn carriage ride through the park in the snow and visit Santa and wake up Christmas morning in our own beds.  In theory, this sounds so nice.  In reality, I'd give my left arm to be sitting on a beach, covered in sunscreen and spending our gift money on rum.  #isittoolatetochangemymind

--  Christmas cards have FINALLY been ordered.  They'll be here December 26th.   Awesome.  #ChristmasInFebruary

--  All kidding aside, I wouldn't trade one single tear, fit or meltdown for anything in the world.  :)  This crazy kid is such a blessing, I'd do anything to freeze time and keep him little and wild forever.  And if the stupid cards don't get sent out, at least I'll have them ready for next year!   #happiestmamaever

 Your turn!  

Fess up, what are your favorite (or no so favorite) holiday MOMents this year?

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

New Mommy Confessions - Part 15

It's been a while, but here we go again! 

- I constantly find myself doing things that I always said I would NEVER do as a mother.  My naive judgmental pre-baby self would be horrified.  For example: I let Mac have Oreos before dinner; I stood back and had a glass of wine while he rolled around in the dog water that he just spilled all over the floor at a baby shower; I've begged him to just watch 5 minutes of TV so I can make his dinner (I've also considered duct taping him to the floor); I once put him in a giant box just so he'd stay still for a few minutes; I let him pull all the toys off the shelves at Target and play with them in the middle of the aisle while I responded to a work email; I've been known to sing "The Wheels on the Bus" at the top of my lungs, complete with animal noises and corresponding actions in front of random strangers to prevent a meltdown.


- Mac's birthday party was now over two months ago and I have yet to send out thank you cards.  I am the worst.  I had grand intentions of sending everyone a card with a photo from the party (either of Mac or their own kid).  Ha!  I haven't even bought cards yet, so I'm not confident in my abilities to get my shit together enough to pull that off.  And don't even think about leaving me a comment that you don't need a thank you card if you gave us a gift.  Shut up, you're getting a fucking thank you card.  It just might not be until November.  

- Mac is still not consistently sleeping through the night.  WHY?!!  He is getting better though.  However, when he does end up sleeping straight through, he wakes up at like 5:30 a.m.  FIVE THIRTY!!!!  I think I'd rather not sleep at night than get up that damn early.

- Does leaving the house with a toddler ever get easier?  I love taking Mac to visit friends/family, but I easily forget that not everyone has a baby and a house that's fully baby-proofed.  Inevitably he will find anything breakable under 3 feet high, every uncovered outlet, every sharp corner, every crumb or dried-up (months/years old) piece of food on the floor and anything that can be dumped or spilled within 2 seconds.  It's absolutely exhausting trying to constantly redirect his attention to something less dangerous (boring) and impossible to even attempt to always stay one step ahead of him.  On the plus side, I'm thinking about renting him out to soon-to-be-parents so they can figure out what they need to do to baby-proof before their baby arrives.  It's about time he started earning his keep anyway.


- Mac has started sleeping with a stuffed puppy and it's the cutest darn thing that's ever happened in the history of the whole wide world.  When it's time for bed, I hand him that little black and white puppy and he smiles and wraps his arms around it so tight and snuggles his face in it.  And then my heart explodes and I die.  

- I do not understand "kid-speak" at all.  I kinda understand what Mac's saying (mainly because he just repeats what we say), but I cannot for the life of me seem to understand what anyone else's kid is saying.  One of the neighborhood kids was "talking" to me the other day and our conversation went like this:

Me:    Hi (insert kid's name here).

Kid:    Blah blah blah baa aaaa babbaaa a abbba  

Me (looking at the kid's mom):    What did she say?

Mom:    She said she likes your necklace.

Me (to kid):    Oh, thank you. Do you like to wear jewelry?

Kid:    Yayayaya ayaya ayayaya ayayaya 

Me (to mom):    What did she say?

Mom:    She said that mommy only lets her wear it when they play dress up.

Me:    Oh. Do you like to play dress up?

Kid:    Mmahsy ywyyw ama sysbka a qmlkdjao alslakj aokna

Me (to mom):    What?????

And then the mom rolls her eyes at me and tells me to stop talking to her child.  Not really, but kinda.  I am a child linguistics failure.

Your turn!  

Fess up!

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8
Part 9
Part 10

Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14

New Mommy Confessions - Part 14

Another installment of New Mommy Confessions here!  Today we've got the lovely Lacey from The Perks of Being a JAP - a New Yorker with a love of beer and the prettiest little daughter, Sadie.  And Sarah from a Buckeye in Badgerland - mama to absolutely adorable baby boy Paxton.  Hope you ladies didn't think I forgot about you!  Nope, just insanely busy and up to my eyeballs in snot.  I'm still loving this "Confessions" series, so if anyone else wants to contribute (or any previous contributors want to add new confessions), I'm all ears!  Send me an email!  

Lacey from The Perks of Being aJAP

*  I will often let Sadie play with things that aren't meant for babies (clean laundry, magazines, my cell phone...electronic cords) just so she is entertained for a few moments.

*  She's terrified of our Roomba, and refuses to be on the floor when it is running. This doesn't stop my husband and I from trying to put her down while it's going for our own amusement to see her try and frantically climb up on us.

*  The first three months of her life were HARD. My sister-in-law told me flat out "the first three months suck - and NO ONE tells you that." They sucked. I was sleep deprived, hormonal, and Sadie's witching hour was killer. 7-9pm. Every night. Like clockwork.

*  That being said... I have to admit that I wasn't "in love" with my daughter right away. I certainly loved her, and would kill for her, but I didn't really fall in love with my daughter until a couple months in.

  

*  Bath time happens... not every day. What? She doesn't (really) sweat! And she hates it, so why bother as long as she smells good? Horrible, I know.

*  There's no way I could be a stay at home mother. I get the crazy stare when I say this, but honestly, being a working mother makes ME a better mom. This isn't true for everyone, but it is for me.

Sarah from A Buckeye in Badgerland

*  Paxton gets a bath on average 1.5 times a week. We're hanging on to that "newborns don't need to be bathed often" thing we were told at the hospital. He's 3 1/2 months now. Bath time occurs when I look up at my husband and say "He sort of stinks. Bath tonight?"

*  I don't strap him onto his changing table and I walk around the room while he lays there. He's now at rolling age so I know this needs to stop. Let's be honest, though, it won't.

*  Paxton smiles way more for me than for my husband. Secretly, I like this. I know it's probably because I'm the one home with him all day and his food source and not because he likes me more, but I still enjoy it. Sorry I'm not sorry.

*  My husband and I were slightly happy about Paxton having a fever after his 2 month vaccinations. He slept more than normal and we had a nice, quiet evening.

*  All parents think their baby is the cutest, but we all know there are ugly babies out there. I have a fear of having one of those babies and not knowing it. Seriously, no one ever tells those people the truth.

*  No song is safe from having its lyrics changed to be about Paxton. Cee Lo, Usher, and Chamillionaire (among others) would cringe hearing what my husband and I have done to their melodies.

*  So many moms say they don't want their babies to grow up. Paxton's adorable at this age, but I'm so ready for him to tell me what he wants and play independently. At the same time, I'm terrified of having an older child because he'll realize I'm not cool.

*  I eat while nursing and if it's something like toast, Paxton is covered in crumbs when I'm done. Remembering what I said about baths, you best believe I just wipe him off and continue with our day.

*  I second almost every other confession I've read in this series. Don't sweat the small stuff, moms-- Our children are happy and healthy (germs build up the immune system!) so we're doing okay :)

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8
Part 9
Part 10

Part 11
Part 12
Part 13

New Mommy Confessions - Part 13

Hi!  It's me.  No guest posters, just me confessing today.  I have a lot to get off my chest.  Here goes!

• What is the deal with "mommy guilt" and does it EVER go away?  Why do I feel guilty about everything I do?  I feel guilty when I go to work in the morning.  I feel guilty if I run an errand without the baby.  I feel guilty when Ryan and I have a date night.  I feel guilty that I'm no longer breastfeeding.  I feel guilty when I'm on the floor playing around with him because maybe I should be doing more, like reciting the alphabet in French or teaching him long division.  Seriously, do you ever get to the point where you feel like you're doing a good job?  (I don't know, I'm asking you this.)  I think I'm doing pretty well with this whole mom gig so far - he's wonderful and healthy and happy - but will I always feel so guilty for not doing more?  

• Since I've had Mac I have an unprecedented amount of ear wax in my ears.  What the hell is up with that?  Not sure if it has anything to do with to being a new mom, but I'm chalking it up to post-pregnancy body weirdness.  Other weird things: my right foot is significantly larger than my left foot, I cannot wear earrings without them itching like crazy and my hands now look exactly like my mother's hands. 

• Sometimes I worry that my child is turning into a spoiled rotten brat.  He's got me so wrapped around his finger that I jump any time he makes a peep.  Apparently I don't have that gene that allows me to tune him out like his father does (seriously, do all men have this?).  Sometimes I realize I'm doing it and vow to let him deal with himself for just one hot minute before picking him up so as to not turn him into a whiny, needy, clingy brat...and then he whines and I jump.  Spoiled brat it is.  Maybe the next kid will have a chance.

• Now that Mac's standing up on his own, we've lowered his crib mattress as far down as it'll go.  Good for him, bad for me.  It's LOW.  And I'm SHORT.  This means that when I put him down (if he's asleep in my arms, which he usually is because I'm a sucker and still want to rock him to sleep - this is a whole other confession on it's own though), I have to lean over  the crib railing as far as I possibly can and then drop him about 2 feet to the mattress.  Inevitably, he hits pretty hard and bounces and wakes up and screams.  Fuck.  How do you avoid this?  I've tried putting a stepping stool next to the crib rail, but I still have to lean so far over that my feet slip off the stool and I nearly fall into the crib on top of the baby.  Not a solution.  So...here's what I've been doing.  I've started pushing the glider ottoman over to the crib.  Then I climb into the crib and gently lay him down.  And since I'm already in the crib, I just lay down next to him to make sure he's good and passed out.  And then sometimes I fall asleep in there next to him.  (Don't tell my husband I do this!)  Ok, so it's not a perfect solution, but it works!  And I get a few more minutes of baby snuggle time.  (See also previous confession regarding spoiled brat.)

• I'm constantly surprised how similar having an 8 month old is to having a puppy.  They both drool a lot.  They both bite and scratch with their tiny little teeth and nails that are like razors.  They're both covered in dog hair.  They're both into everything.  They both go 100 mph and then just crash.  They both whine and squeal.  They  both chew on everything.  They both do tricks (sit, fetch and roll over).  They both annoy all the other pets in the house with their endless energy and constant attention seeking.  They both smell wonderful.  And they are both as cute as can be.  

• I recently realized that Mac doesn't have single pair of shoes.  Not one.  How is that even possible?  I love shoes!  And baby shoes are adorable!  I know he doesn't need shoes - mainly because he wears nothing but feety pajamas, but also because he can't walk - but shouldn't he at least have a pair?  Should I go buy him shoes or do I just wait until he really needs them (for walking or because he starts wearing real clothes)?  Also, should he be wearing real clothes?  Are all the other moms secretly (or not so secretly) judging me because he only wears pajamas all day long?  Am I that mom?  

• I miss my friends.  Terribly.  I really wish I was better about keeping in touch with my friends these days, but it is SO hard.  I never wanted to be that person that has a kid and drops off the face of the earth.  Or the one that ditches her kid-free friends and only spends time with other people with kids.  I hate those people.  But man, it's hard to find a good balance.  Especially when my time is already spread so thinly over baby, marriage and work.  I hope to be better.  I will be better.  I want Mac to know how important it is to have amazing friends and a strong support system.  I just happen to have the greatest friends in the world - I just need to be better about seeing them all.  And in the meantime I'm just going to profusely apologize to my friends.  Especially to those without kids who probably do not understand why I can't meet up for drinks after work or talk on the phone for 5 freaking minutes or even reply to a damn text message in a timely manner.  Sorry!  

• Along these same lines, I also feel like I should offer a blanket apology to any of my "mom friends" who I may have pissed off or got impatient with before I had kids and "understood" what it was like.  A few weeks after I had Mac I remember wondering how I would EVER get anything done for the rest of my life.  Babies are SO time-consuming, especially in those first few months.  If I answered 1 text message or email a day I felt like I'd accomplished something.  How pathetic is that?  I actually remember a few years back being  pissed off at one of my stay-at-home-mom friends because it took her like 8 hours to respond to an email I sent her once.  I kept thinking, she's at home ALL DAY, why can't she just answer me?  What could she possibly be doing?  I want to go back in time and slap myself.  

• Remember how I told you that Mac has a little girlfriend (Harper) in his gym class and he smiles and waves to?  Well, the nanny told me that this week that they held hands in class.  I wanted to die.  Not because this is cute, but because HE'S MINE!!  I thought I was going to be his first girlfriend, his first love!  My heart is broken.  Why is this happening already?  I am so done with this little Harper tramp.  I don't even know her, but she's not good enough for my son.  End of story.  Is this what moms feel like when their kids start dating?  How do you even let them out of the house?

• At least once a week I get really nervous about this blog.  I love having a blog and having a creative outlet, but I worry about posting too many pictures of my baby or sharing too much information about him that he will resent me for later.  What happens if he grows up and hates that his life is out there on the internet for the whole world to see?  What if he is horrified that there are pictures of him in the bathtub on this blog and that I tell strangers about all the little intimate details of his babyhood?  I don't know.  I worry about how he'll react, whether he'll care, whether he'll be humiliated later.  Or maybe he won't think twice about it because he's growing up in an age of over-sharing on Facebook and mommy blogs.  Hopefully he'll realize I only do this out of love and because I'm proud of him.  I know I have to be careful, but how do you know how much is ok to post and what is crossing the line?  How do you choose how much to share of someone else's life when they don't have a say in it?  It's such a tough call.  I don't have an answer.  Obviously I'm still blogging and posting pictures of our little man, but it's always on my mind.  Anyone else have thoughts on this?

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8
Part 9
Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

New Mommy Confessions - Part 12

Yay!  Another hilarious installment of New Mommy Confessions here!  Three awesome blogging mommies with some really great stuff.  These are so good!  I am just loving all the confessions coming in and hope you are enjoying them as well.  I'm definitely guilty of a few of these myself.  Thank you Katie, Hannah and Cat for contributing and sharing your experiences with us!  

Katie from Perfectly Us

-I always thought those moms wiping snot off of their kids' noses with their bare hands were NASTAY, but now I take pride in the amount of snot I can get out with a single suck of the bulb syringe. By the way, I still think the bodily functions of other kids are gross, but with mine? Nothing phases me!

-6 days out of 7 I still harbor some serious guilt over the fact that I'm not breastfeeding anymore, but on that 7th day? I'm pretty happy not to be walking around with my tits out all day. Especially now that it's winter! Nonetheless, mommy guilt is a THING. I'll probably nurse my next until they're like 6 or something. Look for me on TIME Magazine.

-I feel like I've failed as a mommy blogger because my kid never wears smocked clothing. Look, I have a hard time spending $50 on a dress for myself, much less one that's going to fit her for a month and get covered in drool, spit up, and baby food.

-My daughter has only been crawling for 3 weeks, but I have to say, I already miss the days of immobility. Things were easier when she wasn't bumping her head every 38 seconds.

-I can't even tell you how many times I've told my husband, "I wish Jaqs would sleep with us!" Co-sleeping was never (and isn't) a part of our "plan," but I'd love to feel her snuggly body against me throughout the night. It would never happen though...the girl won't even let us rock her to sleep. 

-And on that note, I'd always heard that a mother's love was indescribable, and it truly is. I never knew that I could love with every ounce of my being. Definitely the purest form of love I've ever experienced, and it makes me cry just thinking about it. I need to remember this feeling when I have a sassy pre-teen on my hands ;)

Hannah from Charles and BunBun

I'm Hannah with a few confessions of my own.  I've enjoyed all of yours so much I figured it was only fair I dish as well.  To set the stage a bit, Kathryn Alexandra is our first child.

- One day baby Kate was having a particularly challenging time finding the nipple.  She kept rooting around, sucking on her hands, sucking on my arm, sucking on the side of my boob... everywhere except the nipple.  I finally got a little exasperated and told her, "You know, your father has NO problem finding the nipple.  Maybe he could give you some lessons."  Perhaps I need to adjust my parental guidance filter because that content may have been a bit too adult for a 6-week old...

-  I basically sit around topless in the evening because the baby wants to nurse CONSTANTLY after 5pm and it's easier (read: I'm lazy and too tired to care).

-  I sometimes use the baby to give husband directives... "Is Daddy going to be super helpful and take out the trash before he showers?? Yes he is!!"

-  My last hair appointment can be calculated using our daughter's age plus three weeks.  So let's see... she's about 8 weeks right now... therefore 11 weeks ago was my last cut. Oy.

-  I caught my male cat giving baby Kate a bath with his tongue.  Apparently the routine hygiene care I've been providing her is not up to his standards.  Please note: it's probably very easy to find fault when all you do in a day is sit around and be fat + furry.  Her hygiene is just fine, thankyouverymuch.

-  My husband and I were both only children, so the only reason I'm currently contemplating another baby someday??  I have a folder of maternity inspiration pictures saved from Pinterest that I had intended to recreate and self-shoot on Saturday, October 20 when I was 39-weeks.  Kate decided to debut the 19th.  (Pinterest: definition 3; making women want to have more babies with creative crafts, cute-sy photos, and perfect birthday parties.)

Cat from Letters to Baby MC

>>> The past two holidays that landed on Mondays, I took my daughter to daycare so I could have a Me Day.  I felt terrible about it (still do) but I was SO thankful for being able to pee on my own, watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and take a long bath without having to sing or clap a million effin times.

>>> I tell my husband that I can’t change poopie diapers because it will make me throw up or gag so he changes almost all of them.  But here’s the thing, it’s not true.  At all.  I don’t even flinch with poopie diapers; I just don’t like to change them.  I also told him the same thing for the cat box and picking up our dog's poop in the yard.  You are all sworn to secrecy now.

>>> I HATE that I am talking to adults but still use the word poopie (above).  Even worse, when I went back to change the word, I couldn’t think of anything else other than ‘shit’ to replace it with so I erred on the side of lazy and left it poopie.

>>> I have terrible dreams about once a month that someone is in my house to kidnap my daughter.  I will literally wake up every single hour on the hour during the night and go check on her.  We now have an alarm system with way too many cameras on the inside and outside of our house but yet I’m still having that damn dream.  I’m starting to think I just need to stop watching Criminal Minds.  Shit is clearly making me crazy.

>>> Once my baby led weaning child is done making a hugeassmess, I let my dog “clean up” for a while before I, all of a sudden, remember to wipe everything down.  Typically there’s nothing else to clean up.  And then I forget to wipe everything down.  

>>> At exactly 27 weeks my water broke for no rhyme or reason.  I paid a small fortune for my OB to test me and my placenta 13912 different times and everything came back not only normal, but perfect.  Because of that, I am absolutely, positively scared to death to get pregnant again and, honestly, I don’t know if I will be able to do it.  The thought of getting pregnant again and going through THIS  sends me into a panic attack.  To further confess, I know I wouldn’t be happy with just one child.  I want my daughter to have a sibling or even two.  I’m in a nasty little pickle.  And I want to take that pickle and kick it in the nuts.       

>>> I am a super proud working mom.  As in, I could not be a stay at home mom if my life depended on it.  I love my little girl more than anything in the world but DANG, that whole staying at home shit is hard and monotonous.  Hats off to ALL stay at home moms; I’m pretty sure you are all superwoman.   

>>> My daughter is always in only a diaper.  We live in south Florida and it’s hot and gross all the time.  I take her on walks in her stroller in a diaper, I’ve taken her to the grocery store one time to get milk in only a diaper and she even spent 45 minutes in Disney World in only a diaper.  I’m pretty sure she’s going to grow up to become a nudist.  At least I will know why though.       

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8
Part 9
Part 10

Part 11

New Mommy Confessions - Part 11

Amy from The Baby Days

*  I have three kids. My newest is Eli, 9 months old.  My brain is so completely fried after having three kids that I can't remember to call Eli by the right name!! I use his brother's name. His sister's name. His dad's name. I've even called him names we were considering when I was pregnant. Maybe we picked the wrong name, I don't know. Oh, well. Either way, we sure do love little what's-his-face. :-)

*  The mere thought of my kids growing up and moving away brings me to tears.  I’m already telling my 5-year-old, “One day you’ll get to grow up, get married and live down the street from Mommy!!  Won’t that be GREAT?” 

* With each new child, I forgot everything I had previously learned about babies.  Everything!  When do they eat real food?  When do they pull up?  When do they babble?  Don’t ask me!  It’s not like I’ve done this three times or anything.

* I am sooooo sick of breastfeeding.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m very glad I’ve been able to do it for 9 months this time around, and I know it’s really good for the baby.  BUT.  I’m so tired of trying to find a place to feed him in public when I have my other two kids with me.  And my baby won’t take a bottle at all, so I can’t be away from him for too long.  It feels like my life revolves around feedings sometimes.  There are worse things for sure, but I’m definitely looking forward to getting my body back.

* We are seriously considering giving the baby nothing but diapers and wipes for Christmas this year.  I’m not trying to be cheap or anything, but we still have all of my older kids’ baby toys and we’re up to our eyeballs in plastic crap around here.  Not to mention, I know he’ll only want the boxes and bows.  I’m not a horrible mom, right?  Right??

* With my first and second kids, I read the milestone charts and knew exactly what my babies would/should be doing and when.  Yeah, I don’t do that so much with numero tres.  So when Eli masters a new skill, we’re genuinely surprised.  We’re like, “Hey, he rolled over!  I forgot they do that!”

* Sorry if this sounds sappy, because it is, but….I so love being a mom.  Sometimes my husband and I daydream about the things we’d do if we didn’t have children.  We’d travel, a lot. We’d have a bigger house and a nicer car.  Things would be unsticky, unbroken and uncluttered. We WOULDN’T have a friggin’ mini-van parked in our garage.  But we always, always agree that none of those things hold a candle to life with our three little ones.  As I’m typing this, my daughter is literally licking my face, pretending to be a dog.  You can’t buy that, people.

Jen from Dave + Jen = Max

*  If I could birth a 6 month old baby (not size wise, just age wise) then I probably would. My baby was a screamer and cried non-stop for basically the first 6 months of his life. He sure makes up for it now with his cuteness though, thank goodness. 

*  Speaking on the same subject. I believe I would like the infancy stage a little more if I hadn't breastfed. I truly think I was feeding for 80% of my day between breastfeeding (because they are so slow at first) and pumping after to ensure I was getting enough milk. It was a lot of work that I don't regret doing, but I don't think I enjoyed my little one as much as I could have. 

*  I have mastered the art of chugging a margarita/glass of wine in about 5 mins (or less) so I can get it through my system in order to breast feed later in the evening. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do to survive :) 

*  In order to keep Max busy while he zooms in his car walker, we usually have to sacrifice the dog. Max gets bored easily so we bribe the dog with food so she will stay around and he can chase her around the kitchen. It's no wonder his first word/sound is DA (for dog). 

Samma from Spice and Sass

Since I having a child, I have become the biggest sentimental cornball!  I cry at the drop of a hat now.  However, crying during aerobics last Saturday took the cake.

Okay, so I am going to my weekly Jazzercise class, and it's the owner's 25th anniversary.  All the instructors dress as Kim, the owner (keep in mind, they are all ripped- Jazz is no joke!), and have a special class honoring her.  Kim's daughter calls her on stage to do a cool down to this Martina McBride song with lyrics about how a mom hopes her daughter thinks she is strong and wise.  

(Here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlA- I cannot watch it without bawling, gah!).  

Anyway, both mother and daughter are bawling.  It's so sweet and sentimental.  I'm frantically trying to wipe my tears away without the skinny college girls next to me seeing my sobbing.  

So yeah, crying during Jazzercise because of a Martina McBride song is a new low.  

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8
Part 9
Part 10