Don't you just want one so bad? I did. UNTIL I watched this hippo show on the Discovery Channel. It started off like this...
Mama hippo and baby hippo are in love. They're bonding over these first few months. They play together. They eat together. Mama watches baby hippo sleep. Mama teaches baby everything. She's the best mama in the whole wide world. Baby loves mama. Mama loves baby. Awww.
Enter BAD bad horny angry male hippo. Grrrrrr.
Male hippo wants to mate with mama hippo (so typical). Baby hippo is in the way. Mama hippo protects baby hippo. Mama to the rescue.
Mama hippo runs away, male hippo attacks baby and baby hippo dies.
What kind of eff-ed up show kills the baby? Are you kidding me? Screw this shit. I do NOT want anything to do with these hideous beasts. You can keep your damn hippo, Santa. To hell with that.