I'm probably going to say this with every single update post, but how is it possible that my baby is already TWO MONTHS old?! Where does the time go? I can't believe I only have a few more weeks at home with my little man before I have to go back to work. Ugh, I don't even want to think about that right now.
Anyway, what an exciting month this has been. Since I last updated you, we've had all kinds of new things going on. Most importantly, we're getting smiles out of Mac! SMILES! Oh, that first smile was probably the greatest thing I've ever experienced in my entire life. Cue the happy tears! Hallelujah! Finally a little affirmation that the baby doesn't hate me. Sometimes with all the crying it feels like that.
His sleep is all over the place. Sometimes he'll be up all night, sometimes he sleeps for long stretches, sometimes he'll only sleep if he's being held, sometimes he will only sleep in the swing. We never know what each night will bring. He doesn't have any kind of schedule or consistent routine, we just try to go with the flow. Hopefully over the next few months we'll figure out what works best for him and be able to know when he needs to sleep during the day to maximize nighttime sleeping. Wish us luck. I still have the hardest time putting him down when he falls asleep in my arms. I just love snuggling with him and smelling his head and kissing his forehead. I know he's not going to be this little for much longer so I'm trying to soak up all the snuggles I can. But Mac has started sleeping in his crib in his nursery now at night. It took a lot of coaxing from Ryan to get me to agree to it, but I think it was a good move. He was sleeping in the bassinet next to our bed, but he does so much grunting, snorting, moaning, sighing, kicking and thrashing in his sleep that I couldn't sleep. I'd stay up for hours just watching him and waiting - convinced that he was going to wake up at any moment and need to eat, thereby getting zero sleep myself. So it's better that he sleeps in his own room for now and I can actually get some sleep in mine.
And speaking of love from his grandparents, Mac also had a full weekend with my mom here taking care of us. She stayed with me while Ryan was out of town and helped out tremendously. With her famous baby jiggle, he didn't cry once in days. And he's also been over to Ryan's parents house and stayed with them twice while mommy and daddy had date nights. Ryan and I went to a Cardinals game one evening and then out to a nice dinner for our anniversary. We missed him tremendously, but it was nice to spend some much needed quality time together as a couple without a baby in our arms for a few hours.
We've also started interviewing for a nanny position. This has been an interesting experience and I'll try to write a separate post on it sometime. It's hard work trying to find the perfect person that you trust implicitly with the most important thing in your entire world. And it's very emotional to try to choose the person that will take your place during the day, raise your child, play with him, comfort him and do all the things with him that you wish you could be doing. I know going back to work is the right move for me, but it's a tough decision. I'm happy that we can get a nanny for him that will give him the one-on-one attention that we want him to have, in the comfort of our own home, but it kinda breaks my heart that it won't be me doing that. Oh, the mommy guilt begins.
All in all, it's been a pretty great month. I loved every second of it and I can't wait to see what next month brings! I tell ya, this whole having a kid thing is pretty fantastic. :)