Running from the Law: Holiday MOMents

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Holiday MOMents

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It's also the most stressful and expensive and exhausting time of the year.  I don't know if it's the cookie-induced sugar-highs or all the temptations of lights and new toys or just life with a toddler, but we've been having our fill of holiday moments (or "MOMents," as Sprout calls them).  I'm thrilled to be working with The Sprout Channel this month to celebrate all of those crazy MOMents that make life...well, life.  Consider this my Holiday Edition of "New Mommy Confessions."  We're keeping it real around here...

--  I ordered this adorable Advent Calendar from Pottery Barn Kids back in November and it's been hanging up in the perfect spot in our house since Thanksgiving.  I had grand plans to fill it with fun Christmasy activities and little treats for Mac.  It's now December 17th and I have yet to put anything in the calendar or even write down one single activity for us to do.  It's now just a constant daily reminder about how quickly the days are passing and how I'm totally slacking at this whole holiday-spirit thing.  Maybe next year.  #momfail
--  I've been letting Mac play with all his "gifts from Santa" for a month now.  They're scattered around the house and the playroom.  A few days before Christmas I figure I'll just gather them all up (if I can find them or remember what they were) and wrap them for a Christmas morning delivery.  He also helped pick out most of them (he carried a giant stuffed horse around the store for an hour; I couldn't say no). I feel slightly guilty about this, but figure he won't remember anyway, right?  (please say yes) (also, what am I going to do with a giant stuffed horse?!) #santafail
--  Mac has turned a corner and now HATES the camera.  I can't get a good photo of this kid to save my life anymore.  If I'm holding the camera, he will not look at me, will not smile, will not hold still for one second.  And it's not just me.  We've had 2 different photographers try to get good shots of him over the last month and he WILL NOT COOPERATE.  The mamarazzi in me is going crazy about this.  #justsmiledammit
--  We have entered the Toddler-Drama Zone within the last couple months.  We all live in a constant state of fear about if and when the dreaded meltdown will happen and over what.  I used to think people were exaggerating when they said their child would cry about stupid shit like their grapes being cut or toys being moved, but I'm now living with a tiny little monster that throws fits for absolutely no reason at all.  Major fits - for things like making him wear a shirt or not letting him dump water all over the floor or putting his snack in the wrong blue bowl.  Ugh.  It makes me never want to leave the house again.  And we're not even close to the terrible twos yet!  #toddlerdrama
"My mom made me wear gloves!"

--  Three days after Mac turned 18 months I finally got around to calling his pediatrician to schedule his well-visit.  I felt awful for waiting so long, especially since I knew our doctor wouldn't be available for months and we'd have to see a different doctor (again).  So imagine my surprise when the nurse told that Mac already had an appointment scheduled for the following week...and another scheduled for the week after that.  Yep, I'd already called and scheduled the same appointment TWICE before and didn't remember making either appointment.  So that makes THREE TIMES that I made the exact same appointment.  WTF is wrong with me?  Seriously embarrassing.  I bet the nurse thinks I'm on drugs....maybe I am, I don't remember.  #losingmymind
--  Despite all the drama, when he's not throwing a fit Mac continues to amaze me with how smart he is.  He picks up new words daily and his vocabulary has really exploded over the last few weeks.  He's counting and identifying colors and letters and understands way more that I ever imagined he would at this age.  He loves books and has even started "reading" to himself.  He sings and practices talking all the time, which is absolutely adorable.  We're getting better at figuring out what he wants, but still have a ways to go.  He always seems to be one step ahead of us and I am by no means a mind-reader.  I'm convinced that any day now I'm going to wake up to him asking me how I slept and telling me he'd like eggs benedict and a latte for breakfast.  #boygenius

--  We've spent the last four Christmases traveling - skiing or beaches.  Rough life, I know.  This year we decided to stay here and celebrate Christmas in our own home.  We wanted to decorate our house and get a giant tree and start traditions with Mac that we can carry on for years.  We want to take a horse-drawn carriage ride through the park in the snow and visit Santa and wake up Christmas morning in our own beds.  In theory, this sounds so nice.  In reality, I'd give my left arm to be sitting on a beach, covered in sunscreen and spending our gift money on rum.  #isittoolatetochangemymind
--  Christmas cards have FINALLY been ordered.  They'll be here December 26th.   Awesome.  #ChristmasInFebruary
--  All kidding aside, I wouldn't trade one single tear, fit or meltdown for anything in the world.  :)  This crazy kid is such a blessing, I'd do anything to freeze time and keep him little and wild forever.  And if the stupid cards don't get sent out, at least I'll have them ready for next year!   #happiestmamaever

 Your turn!  
Fess up, what are your favorite (or no so favorite) holiday MOMents this year?

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.


  1. I'm not yet a mama but I appreciate all these moments!

  2. Hahahahahahaha! We have the tip-toe around, try-not-to-piss-off-the-toddler-in-fear-of-a-meltdown daily at our house too. Lol. I thought it was just us! "You didn't want that color? I didn't know! Don't be upset! Quit stomping. Why are you laying face down on the floor? Please stop screaming." Lol. Don't get me wrong, I don't want her to grow any faster than she already is, but when is this phase going to be over already?!?!?!

  3. love, love, LOVE this post! Thanks for keeping it real!

  4. Girlfriend you are hilarious, love this post! No beating around the bush for you, love that you tell us how it really is;)

  5. Love all of these. I really need to remember to give myself more grace when I don't check everything off my "Pinterest-induced setting myself up to fail" Christmas Bucket list! And seriously...who knew that playing with stickers would turn into a tantrum because...shocker...the sticker stuck to Elyse's finger! haha!

  6. You are hilarious! Love knowing I'm not the only mama who feels like I'm constantly slacking and losing my mind out there! :) I think the perfect solution is to meet up in Mexico for Christmas and we can drink margaritas while our husbands tend to our fit-throwing toddlers on the beach. The beach makes everything better right?! Hope you guys have a Merry Christmas!

  7. This is a great post! I am with you on all the "cute holiday things" I was going to do with Sadie... hasn't happened yet. At least she decorated with us, and that made for a great set of memories. And she's in the meltdown stage too. Today's were because I took off her socks, and then when I wanted to take a shower, and that meant she wasn't taking a bath. ;) Oh and yesterday when I took small, swallowable earbuds away from her. THE HORRORS!

  8. what a smartie pants! I wish Olivia would learn how to make a latte - that would be a great mom moment for me :)

  9. God, I can only relate too well. Ethan has TOTAL meltdowns for even the smallest thing. And he LOVES patting our cheeks when we hold him and then clawing the SHIT out of said cheeks. It's awful. And he thinks it's hilarious. Oy.

  10. We are in the same boat for every single bullet you have...tears are a constant followed immediately by laughter. What gives? Sometimes Mike the Knight causes tears, sometimes it stops them.

    We are ordering our Chrsitmas cards today...I asked Chad if we should just do New Years cards? Seriously. #momfail

    Happy Holiday season!!! In the end, you are an amazing mom and Mac will always know that!! Cam has played with every single Christmas present, too...they have no clue what's going on. ;) xoxo

  11. Oh the meltdowns...seriously what is up with that?! Honestly Hayden was really bad about a month ago but somehow (knock on wood) they seem to be slowing down, but holy cow I hear ya, I never wanted to leave the house!

  12. Mac and M share so many similarities right now (minus the fact my child refuses to speak - but that's another issue)!
    While I've been busy trying to make this the "best Christmas ever" for M I'm struggling to remind myself he will never remember. So sad. But, the absolute best MOMent was this weekend as we were touring a neighborhood full of lights. M kept pointing and ooohing and ahhhing. To see the excitement and wonder over something as simple as lights melted my heart.

  13. I hear ya. It's busy and overwhelming! I love these pictures though as it captures love as it it really is!

  14. This post made me laugh, it is the greatest ever! So good to know I'm not alone. MOMent of the week for me: We took Lilly to see Santa last week at a nearby park. They have a train and put all of these lights up and have tons of kid activities, not to mention the best Santa ever, he is seriously legit and you can take your own pics and it's included in the $8 price of admission! Anyway I bought L this sweet little Santa dress to wear. Dan kept saying, she should wear more clothes it's going to be cold, and I was all, she'll be in the stroller under a blanket, I have sweater tights on her, she'll be fine. She had the most epic meltdown I think I've ever seen towards the end of the night, she was absolutely inconsolable. I assumed she was just exhausted from a short nap, but later determined that she was borderline getting frost bite (not really but seriously she was so cold). Her little face was beet red as were her feet (which were in sweater tights AND shoes!), like she took a pretty hot bath for a decent amount of time and when she got out her feet were STILL cold to the touch. Mother of the year right here!!!

  15. M turned 2 in July. She just went for her well visit last Friday. Tantrums happen daily - multiple times and mostly because of things like, "I want milk" so I get her milk and then she throws herself in the floor crying because I actually had the audacity to give her what she wants. M hates the camera and it's a Christmas miracle if we actually get good shots of her (I shit you not when I say that she spits at us like a llama when we try to take her pics) and last but not least, she's *still* not sleeping through the 2.5 years. Some days I wonder why I'm doing this and how I can keep going...but I do...and that's what we do as moms. We get up and do it over and over and over because even as sleep-deprived as we are, it's *totally* worth it. You're an amazing mom and Mac is so, so lucky. Smile, pretty. You have a pretty amazing son and baby, that's all you. Merry Christmas!!!

  16. This is such a fun read! I have three kids and the oldest is 6...I definitely understand the inconvenient random melt-downs! And I had to laugh at "not even at the terrible two's yet!" Merry Christmas!!