Running from the Law: Our Journey to Parenthood - Guest Post

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Our Journey to Parenthood - Guest Post

My Everyday Love
Hello Friends!  Today I'm honored to be guest posting over at Everyday Love in a series Leah is hosting called Our Journey to Parenthood about the struggles we go through to become parents.  Her goal for this series is to show readers that they are not alone when struggling with infertility and/or miscarriage.  As a new mom and a member of that awful miscarriage club, this series is something that Leah truly understands and she and I both feel passionate about.  Sharing our heartache and struggle with you is not only a great way to heal, but it's a wonderful way to connect with others who might be going through a similar situation and feel lost and alone.  It seems really appropriate that I share our story right now, since October is National Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
This is the first time I've written out exactly what we went through to get Mac.  My story isn't nearly as long and difficult as many other women's, but it was painful nonetheless to experience it and brought back a lot of heartache and raw emotion as I relived it to write the post.  I've always been slightly hesitant to put our story down in words for fear of being judged or ridiculed for something so personal and deeply important to us, but I'm looking at this as a healing exercise to deal with some of the pain leftover from our experience as we get ready to begin our journey all over again in hope of having another baby someday.  As I've said before, dealing with infertility this time around feels much different, but it's still a daily struggle to remain positive and hopeful.  I have my good days and bad days, like everyone else.  I hope that by sharing my story and some of the emotions I experienced I can help someone else out there that might also be struggling.  And despite the fact that we're going through this again, I feel like my story is one of inspiration...because at the end of the day, there's a beautiful baby boy waiting for me at home.  Regardless of what happens next, my story has a happy ending.  I hope with all my heart that everyone else's does too. 
Below are few snippets from my post.  I'd love it if you'd sneak over to Everyday Love to read the rest of my story and let Leah know what a wonderful series this is.  I'll love you forever. 
"What can I say about our journey to parenthood?  It starts out probably just like everyone else's...I spent my 20’s being careful - basically terrified of getting pregnant before I was “good and ready.”  I studied/worked hard and got a great job, I met and married the perfect man, I went off the pill and (at the ripe old age of 30) we started "trying" to get pregnant.  It was fun!  We talked about our future baby all the time, we got excited that this would be the month, we talked baby names and had the whole private vs. public school debate.  And then it didn't happen.  Month after month it didn't happen and I really started to get nervous..."
"At some point in our struggles to get pregnant I read an article on infertility that said something along the lines of, “if you want to be a mother, you will be a mother – you will find a way to make it happen.” This really stuck a chord with me. I was completely open to the idea of adoption, or surrogacy or doing whatever it took to get a child into our home. Of course I wanted my own children with my husband, but if that didn't work, there were other options to exhaust. I was so focused on “getting pregnant” that I wasn't thinking about the ultimate goal of just being a mom. Maybe we’d do an overseas adoption? Maybe we’d get an egg donor? Maybe we’d adopt a 10 year old that’s never had a real home? It didn't matter how it happened, but I knew right then that I’d make it happen and one day I would be a mom. That was the goal. That realization changed everything."


*Photos by the amazing Jodi of Fresh Art Photography

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25 comments:

  1. Sara -

    Went over and read, and it's beautifully written. I had no idea all the struggles you went though and can't imagine how difficult it was. We had a little hiccup on the road to Abbie, but nothing like what you've been through. Thinking of you as you start the process again to try for number 2 and hoping Mac becomes a big brother soon. <3

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  2. Thank you for sharing! I had no idea of your struggles. We, thankfully, did not have any struggles with our first, but now that we are trying for # 2, its such a different story - six months of very long cycles, now month 3 of clomid...nothing compared to what you went through...but still. Best of luck in trying for # 2.

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  3. Thanks for sharing your story- it's so well written. I'm sorry for all the things you've gone through, but so happy that you have Mac. I'll be thinking of you as you try for #2.

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  4. Thank you for sharing your story! I am a long-time sufferer from endometriosis, so infertility terrifies me, but you are so encouraging!

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  5. Love the post! I had no idea the extend of your challenges. Softball sized ovaries maid my mouth drop! However, it is pretty amazing you've watched Mac grow since he was basically a follicle!

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  6. THank you for sharing!! I loved reading your story on your journey to Mac. I do have a friend that has been struggling for 3.5 years. She has PCOS and has had so many procedures/shots/ultrasounds etc. Reading your well-explained laid out story helped me to better understand what she is going through. And it makes me that much more appreciative (and emotional - ha) for my own little guy and the babe we have on the way. I'm praying for you that #2 and any more you wish to have are on the short road in your future. Good luck and I look forward to celebrating and being happy for you when you are at that place again. Oh, and BTW - AMAZING photos on this post. Beautiful maternity ones!

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  7. Loved reading your post on Everday Love. You have such amazing writing abilities and it makes me want to keep reading. I am so glad you shared your story. I am praying for you guys with you starting more meds and procedures next month. You're an inspiration!

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  8. LOVE love love your post Sara! Thank you for sharing!!! Prayers for you sweet lady! XO

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  9. Beautiful excerpt, off to read the rest.

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  10. Your post was so well written (as always). I had no idea just how much you guys went through to get sweet baby Mac. I am praying for you guys specifically as well as all those dealing with infertility every morning. I'm grateful that I have not had trouble of that kind, but being a member of the "miscarriage club" is no fun either.

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  11. Thank you so much Sara. You brought tears to my eyes and I know have helped so many women. Thank you.

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  12. While I knew most of this story already, I must've missed that you were in the hospital for A WEEK?! That's just crazy. And scary. And crazy scary.

    Hearing your story as well as a few others' makes me realize how lucky some of the rest of us are. That's not to say life isn't without its struggles of another sort, but infertility is truly heartbreaking and isolating, as is a miscarriage. I'm sorry you've had to experience both and I'm praying for a positive pee stick for you very soon. :)

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  13. Thanks for sharing your story! When I was trying to shift my line of thinking about my (accidental) pregnancy I often reflected on the opposite -- not being able to get pregnant and heart breaking it is. I applaud you for giving a voice to a very difficult topic.

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  14. Sara, you are amazing. Seriously, your post is so well written and I know touches so many women out there. Thanks for sharing your story. xoxo

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  15. Without hesitation, I read your guest post and it was amazing just like you. You are so real and honest - 2 reasons that hooked me on your blog in the first place. Thank you AGAIN for sharing your stories.

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  16. Oh sweet friend. Thank you for sharing your heart and raw emotions. It's a horrible, lonely place and I can relate mucho to a lot of your story. I always find it encouraging to read others stories and that's another positive that comes from such an ugly part of our lives. You will inspire and encourage others. You have me. Infertility brought out the worst in me but it also brought out the best and it seems the same with you. Praying along with you, friend. Hoping this time around will be easier on you physically, mentally and emotionally. And I couldn't agree more on your advice. It was like a knife in the heart hearing pregnant or new momma complaining about certain things. I just had to remind myself that they have no clue what I'm feeling and if they weren't intentionally trying to hurt me. Gosh Im so thankful for sleepless nights, dirty diapers and all. Hugs!

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  17. I loved reading this so much, and so appreciate it - especially the advice at the end of your post. It was raw, real and very helpful! Thank you!

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  18. Thank you for sharing. We are going through the same thing right now, and it's hard not to get discouraged. The one thing I seem to hear more and more often is how many people also have problems with trying to become pregnant, so it's always great to hear the success stories (and see pics of the sweet babies that make it all worth it!). xoxo - Natalie

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  19. I just sat down to read your story and from reading your blog I gathered you struggled but I had no idea how much you went through. I love all you share about baby Mac but your posts take on a whole new meaning. You are a very brave woman for sharing your story. I am sure you helped someone by sharing this. I hope it also helped you. While not the same at all when I wrote about my struggles with postpartum depression it helped me a lot. Thinking and praying for you for baby #2!

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  20. You are, hands down, one of the most amazing people I have ever stumbled across in the blogosphere! I admire your honesty, bravery and wisdom. My heart goes out for you and your husband for all the troubles you have encountered but just like you said “if you want to be a mother, you will be a mother – you will find a way to make it happen.”

    xoxo, Iva

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  21. Wow. What a beatiful post. You truly are an amazing woman, and momma. I had no idea all that you went through, and are still going through to achieve the title of "mom." Thank you for your honesty, I know that so many other women are going to relate and be so blessed by your story. Hugs to you friend...and just to lighten the mood..GO CARDS!

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  22. I haven't read the full post, because just reading these snippets here made me cry. Gah. It seems so long ago, but, just yesterday. I just love you so so much and love Mac so so much and can't believe he's yours! I mean, in the best possible way i mean that. I remember how hard I cried when you told me you were pregnant and I will never, ever, ever live down announcing to Hugh Jackman that you were pregnant. Because, I mean, he clearly needed to know. You're my inspiration and my love. I don't know how I got so lucky to have you in my life, and why the hell you keep me around, but, i'm so grateful.

    And I can't wait to spoil all the many children you will have and lead them in rounds of So Long Farewell to sing at bedtime. Serious.

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  23. This is beautiful, friend. I'm so glad you've shared your story and opened up. The pictures are gorgeous.

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  24. Thank you for sharing your story. It's easy to think that you're all alone in the m/c & infertility club, so (in a weird way) it's quite helpful to know you're not alone.

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  25. I know I'm like 3 weeks late but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story! While I was very blessed that it didn't take us that long to conceive I have so many close friends who have dealt with or are dealing with infertility now and it breaks my heart for them everyday. Now more than ever that I have my own baby I can't imagine suffering a loss or not being able to have a baby

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