Running from the Law: Mac Says

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Mac Says

Me and Mac singing: "Head shoulders, knees and toes. Eyes and ears and mouth and nose..."
Mac: "And butt.  And pee pee."

Mac playing on Ryan's phone...
Siri: Hello.
Mac: Hello, I'm Mac.  I have a guitar.  And a pick!
Me: Do you want to go to the grocery store with me today?
Mac: No, I'm going stay here with daddy.
Me: If you go with me, you can get a cookie.
Mac: No.  How about you bring me one home.

Me (in the bath): Mac, make sure you wash under your arms.
Mac: Yep, gotta wash my armpickles.

Mac: I'm going to play "The Mad Song" on the guitar.
Me: Oh, I've never heard that song.
Mac (strumming angrily and scowling): MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.  MAD.
Me: That's pretty intense.
Mac: This is the sad song.
Me: Ok.
Mac (strumming very gently and fake weeping): Sad, sad, sad.  I'm soooooo sad.
Me: How was school today?
Mac: I cried a little bit. (every single time you ask him)
Me: Well, did you have fun?
Mac: No, I had a cookie.

Me: Mac, please stop jumping on the furniture.
Mac: It's not furniture, it's a chair.
Me: Mac, can you help Mally?  I'm bathing Mim and can't get to her.
Mac (after helping the dog): I did it!  I helped!  I saved the day!  You should give me some chocolate.

Me: Mac, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Mac: The boss.
Me: The boss of what?
Mac: You.  And Mr. Schuey. (our turtle)
Me: What do you want to take to Papa's house this weekend?
Mac: Just everything I need.  And a ball.

Mac (to Jigs, our cat): Jigs, you are so beautiful.
Me: She is.  Is she purring?  That means she loves you.
Mac: She loves me very much.
Me: Is Jigs your favorite cat?
Mac: No, Papa is.
Me: Mac, eat your chicken.
Mac: No, I want a cupcake.
Me: No, you need to eat your chicken.
Mac: No, I need to eat a cupcake.

Me (under a blanket with Mac and Jigs): Look, Jigs is in the tent with us.
Jigs half exits the tent so she can breathe.
Me: Oh nevermind, she's leaving.
Mac: She took her face, but she left her butt!
Mac (as we were driving home from the farm): Are we almost home?
Me: Not yet, but we are close to my office. Do you want to see where mommy works?
Mac: I do!
Me:  Ok, look out your window, it's right there.
Mac: That's not the pet store!!

Mac (crying, as I'm leaving him at nursery school dropoff): Mama, saying goodbye is so very hard.
Me (also now crying): Yes, it is.
Me: Did you know that "Mac" is your nickname?
Mac: Like Nick from school?
Me: No, Nick from school's real name is Nick. Your real name is C***, your nickname is "Mac."
Mac: Like Nick from school?
Me: No, a nickname is different than your real name. Your real name is C***, your nickname is "Mac."
Mac: Like Nick from school?
Me: Sure.

Me: Mac, you're going to bed in two minutes.
Mac: Three minutes.
Me: Two minutes.
Mac: Four minutes.
Me: Two minutes.
Mac: A lot more minutes.
Me: Thirty seconds.
Mac: Whoa.
Mac: How about five minutes?
Mac (scribbling on a notepad with a pen): I'm making a list.
Me: Oh yeah, what kind of list.
Mac: Grocery list.
Me: What's on your list?
Mac: Cupcakes, cookies and gummy bears.
Me: That's a good list.
Mac: I know.

Me: What do you want for dinner?
Mac: Chicken nuggets and applesauce and pancakes and eggs and fruit and burger and grilled cheese and quesadilla and blueberries and yogurt and steak.
Me: Whoa.
Mac: That's a lot.
Me: Yeah, are you going to eat any of those things?
Mac: No.  How about a cookie?
Mac (as we're getting ready for bed): Tell me a story.  A good one.  About goats.

Mac (giving me a hug): Mama, you smell really good.  Like pasta.

Mac (to me while Mim's crying): Let's go outside.  Leave Mim here.  She's in a mood today.
Baskethoop = Basketball
What You Said? = What did you say?
Too = Both
Slogs/Snore = S'mores
Bottoman = Ottoman


  1. These are so darn cute!! Jackson says "what you said" for what did you say, as well. It's too funny.

  2. Wow he is super advanced verbally! And super smart... Telling you to just bring the cookie home for him so he doesn't have to go!

  3. Hahahaha. I had to stop drinking my coffee because I almost spat it out at the beginning from laughing. Oh, Mac!

  4. This makes me laugh out loud! Nicklas runs in the kitchen every half hour crying 'cookie' but hey.... If I knew my pants would continue to fit I would do that too!!!

  5. I love these posts! (clearly since I did one yesterday - great minds think alike friend!). Mac sounds so much like callie. My favorite is him wanting to be the boss! Callie tells me all the time when she's grows up she's going to be in charge! Oh and he's right - he does need a cupcake! :)

  6. Oh my gosh- too funny! He seems to really like cookies and cupcakes, haha! :) I especially love the negotiation comments, since we have that going on over here too. Toddlers are the best!

  7. Lol at the leave mom here, she's in a mood today. Kids say the darnest things.

  8. How cute is he?!? Toddlers are the cutest and craziest little creatures.

  9. These are fabulous! And make me a little bit sad that I don't write more down of what elyse says! But seriously...will you tell me a story? A good one? About goats!!?! What?!??

  10. What a personality! This is hilarious. I love the one about the cat taking his head, but leaving his butt. The things little ones come up with are hilarious!

  11. What a personality! This is hilarious. I love the one about the cat taking his head, but leaving his butt. The things little ones come up with are hilarious!

  12. This is so great. And makes me super excited (as well as slightly dreading) when Jude starts talking!

  13. Oh wow, these are all great! But "and butt, and pee pee"...the best! We have a we-can-only-talk-about-poop-in-the-bathroom rule!

  14. He is turning into quite the little man...with a very apparent sweet tooth. Tee hee!

    This is my favorite: "I did it! I helped! I saved the day! You should give me some chocolate." Ha, ha!

    Mandie ~

  15. Hahaha...I really can't wait until Wyatt starts saying hilarious things! "She took her face but she left her butt"...hysterical!

  16. Mac's sad/mad song definitely sounds like me today.

  17. These are so funny!! Mac needs to write a book!!

  18. how could anyone ever refuse to give mac a cookie?!? super cute and definitely an inspiration for a book! =)

  19. Armpickles - hilarious!!
    Mac also sounds like he and Marcus have teamed up on their food groups of cookies, cupcakes, and chocolate!

  20. Oh my gosh!!! This is amazing. I literally laughed out loud and multiple of these. Mac sounds like a mini manipulator but such a fun kid! Him and his cookies. I swear I could bribe Mason with a cookie and he could care less. But bribe him with some goldfish and he will do whatever I want!

  21. Hilarious , you should post more of Mac says , enjoyed it a lot

  22. Oh my gosh, what a fun little firecracker!! Love these. Sounds like he has quite the sweet tooth!! :)
    There's not much better than a boy and a little guitar (and a pick of course). So cute.