Running from the Law: New Mommy Confessions - Part 6

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

New Mommy Confessions - Part 6

More great confessions from a few of my favorite new moms!  You guys rock.  Thanks for your honesty and your awesomeness!  Anyone else guilty of these things?  Fess up!

Julie from The Girl in the Red Shoes

  • I consider a shirt "clean" if it has only one spit-up or breast milk stain. I don't even see the stains any more!
  • I use the "mommy brain" excuse for everything now: lost car keys, forgetting to brush my teeth, locking myself out of the house, feeding the dog dinner three times, not buying groceries for two name it, I've done it. And I plan on using At excuse for as long as possible.
  • I'm frequently torn between wishing Hudson would get bigger so that he would sleep longer at night and wishing he would stay this little forever.
  • Before a middle of the night feeding I have twice wondered why I kept hearing a dripping sound....only to discover that the dripping was my boob leaking breast milk on the floor.
  • Having my son fall asleep on my chest just might be the best feeling in the world.
  • I've asked the dog to entertain the baby on more than one occasion. He actually does a good job!
  • I never knew my heart could love something so little, so much.

- I LOVED being pregnant.  I still miss being big and round and SLEEPING.

- Postpartum Depression is NO JOKE.  I had it pretty bad.  YAY for happy pills.

- I hate the sound of my singing voice when singing lullabies.  Thank God for Pandora on iPhone.

- Losing the baby weight is HARD.  I finally caved and went back to Weight Watchers.  I am positive that each and every one of my Flex Points for the week goes to alcohol.

- I don't regret my decision to go back to work.  Daycare is a damn fortune but working helps me feel sane.  

- I can't tell you how many paci's, rattles, bottle caps and random toys Jolie (our dog) has chewed up and destroyed.  She even licks up spit up off of the floor before I have a chance to wipe it up.  When Stella was about a week old, she got a hold of a blowout dirty diaper out of the trash can and LICKED IT CLEAN.  OMG GROSS.

- I look like a HOT FREAKING MESS half the time I leave the house.  But, hey, my kid looks cute!  Look at the cute baby and ignore the exhausted mommy!

Confession: At 3 am, when my baby has already been up approximately 143 times, I am so freaking exhausted that I like to lay in bed and pretend that I didn't hear her crying on the monitor. I pray to God that she falls back to sleep on her own and he never, ever hears me. Ever. And I'm a second-time mom who vaguely remembers the sleep deprivation from number one, but none of that matters at 3 am. 


So when I stumble down our hallway towards the nursery, bouncing off the walls like a pinball machine, I'm muttering not very nice words under my breath. And then I stand over her crib and she will smile at me with the biggest grin, like, 'Oh hey, mom! Whatcha doin? Wanna hang? Fist pound.' And my heart melts at that little face and her annoyingly sweet smile. God really knew what he was doing when he made babies so freaking adorable. It's a payback for chronic bags under my eyes, I suppose. Her cute face makes me want to stab people who sleep all night a little less. Thanks, God!

Catch up on the rest of the New Mommy Confessions series:


  1. I LOVE that you do these! Super good idea hearing from all the moms out there and knowing we are all in this together

  2. love this! these make me feel so much more normal than I actually feel sometimes! ha!

  3. I love these!! They make me feel more sane (well, they make me feel like I'm not the only one who feels INSANE!). And, NEVER look bad, so please... ;)

  4. Aww! These make me wanna get pregnant like right now. Except for the sleep deprivation part. And the crazy baby brain. And the spills on my clothes. ;)

  5. My little guy is almost a month old and reading these confessions make me feel normal! Great idea and kudos for starting this. I especially love going back into your personal confessions. You're hilarious! Ill be perusing your blog! :)

  6. Thanks for asking me to participate Sara! I hope I don't sound like a whiny brat - haha! Being Stella's mommy is the very best job in the world and truly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! I am lucky to count myself among such other amazing mothers who understand the sisterhood of new mommy-hood and how keeping it "real" honestly helps us all feel better about the struggles as well as all of the rewards that come along with our new roles as parents! :) Love you sweet friend!! xoxo

  7. Love Julie and Baby H! Such a fun/funny series! Makes me feel better as a new mama, that's for sure! ;)

  8. Trish, I am SO with you. And, honestly, knowing that it would not make sense to pay for daycare for two is a big reason why I'm good with one. I know that sounds awful,but it's true.

  9. Thanks for featuring me, lady! Love this series so much. New moms unite!