Thank you all for the sweet comments on my Journey to Parenthood guest post. That was a hard post to write, but all the comments and follow-up emails/texts/calls I received were definitely worth it. I had so many people (even close friends) say that they had no idea the extent of what we went through to get Mac, which makes me glad I finally had a chance to get it all out there and tell my story. I think it's also relevant right now, as we get ready to start all the treatments again. And if I'm being 100% honest, I'm pretty freaked out about next couple months and what will happen, so I could really use some support and understanding. My biggest fear used to be fear of not being able to get pregnant. Now that fear has been replaced by the fear of losing the baby again, which is so much worse than never getting pregnant to begin with. The meds I'm taking (just to get me ready for fertility drugs in a few months) are also being much harder on my body this time around: horrible headaches, nausea, upset stomach, moodiness and I can't drink. DID YOU HEAR THAT? No booze! It's awful. So if you see me out and drinking water, please don't ask me if I'm pregnant. I'm not...I'm just fat and moody and may punch you in the face (or more likely, just start bawling).
Mac is a firecracker right now! I am so in love with this stage. He is so wonderfully funny and goofy and getting more and more independent by the day. He loves slides at the park, spinning in circles until he's dizzy and chasing Sage around the house and hugging her. He has about 35 words now (I've been writing them all down), my favorites of which are MAMA, Go Cardinals, toot (as he points to his butt and laughs), dark, hot(?), fish and nose (as he sticks his finger up his nose). He loves to make people laugh and has turned into quite a little clown. He's still a lover though and I try to get in as many snuggles a day as I possibly can. He's an eating machine and could live exclusively on cookies and pasta, if I'd let him. He wants to help with everything, from watering the plants to feeding the dogs to cooking dinner. It's so sweet (and SO messy).
Speaking of firecracker, did you see my last Instagram post? I'm a redhead! Well, strawberry blonde. I love it. My husband really loves it. Mac could care less. It's fun and different and perfect for fall. Actually, the only thing I don't love about it is that Mac and I no longer look alike. I loved when strangers made comments about us both being blondes and how much we looked alike, so I'm a little sad that we won't be getting those comments any more. Oh well, it's temporary and I'm sure I'll go back to blonde in a few months.
Remember when I mentioned that we set up our fish tank and then nearly all the fish died? Well, the very next day Ryan was watching the fish and asked me when I added all the little ones. I was confused (because I hadn't added any new fish), until I saw a couple teeny tiny little baby fish swimming around the bottom of the tank. We had babies! The mollies I bought must have laid a few eggs before dying, giving us "home-grown native-to-the-tank babies"! At first I saw three. A few days later we were up to eight. Then thirteen. Then eighteen! Eighteen baby fish! They were so tiny, I was terrified that they'd get sucked up into the filter or eaten by the three surviving adult fish. But no, they were healthy and strong and made it. Until a few days ago when I cleaned the tank and accidentally sucked a few of them up in the vacuum and dumped them down the bathtub drain. Oh, the horror! I didn't notice until it was too late. You should have seen me scrambling to grab them and save them, as they are sliding down the bathtub in a sea of dirty tank water. I nearly fell in. I managed to save one. We still have probably 15 babies, but I'm in mourning for the 4-5 little ones that got away. (Also, if I used up all my good baby-making mojo on fish babies I am going to be so pissed!)
Go Cardinals! Go Mizzou! Go Blues! It's a great time to be a sports fan in St. Louis!