Profess Your Love

Day 5 of the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge:

"Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them?"

I'm pretty excited about today's topic because this is something I've been wanting to say for a while now.  I have been truly blessed with an amazing friend named Ally.  She is one of the kindest, most generous, loving, thoughtful, courageous, funny, smart, beautiful, adventurous people I've had the pleasure to know.  I am so lucky to have her in my life.

If you read Ally's blog you might know some things about her: she loves musicals and Hugh Jackman, London and Princess Kate, yoga and dance, running and races, pretty dresses and the color pink, her friends and family.  But what you might not realize until you meet her and spend some time with her is that she has an old soul, she makes friends everywhere she goes, she has a weak spot for babies and dogs, she believes in wishes and fairy tales come true, she has the loudest, most wonderful laugh that can fill an entire room, she wears her heart on her pretty pink ruffled sleeve, she can drink wine out of a Twizzler straw like a boss, she has a Texas twang with a laid-back California attitude, she's generous to the point of giving you the Burberry coat off her own back to make sure you're warm.  And this is just the tip of the iceberg as to why I love her.

This past year she's gone through some stuff...serious stuff that's broken her heart and changed her life.  Stuff that has tested her faith and her friendships.  And, in my opinion, she's handled it all with more grace, patience and humility than most people I know ever could have done.  She's come out on the other side with a smile and a renewed sense of purpose.  She's finding herself. She's so brave.  She is so strong.

And despite whatever she might be personally going through, she's always there when needed, to take a phone call or answer a text, to send a photo of a handsome freckled stud, just to listen or to provide some encouragement and support.  She's shared her heart and her home with me and my child.  She loves with every fiber of her being.  She's a true friend in every sense of the word.  

So this, my dear Ally, is my public profession of love and devotion to you.  Thank you for being my friend.

Baby Mac - 11 Months

Dear Baby Mac,

I can't believe this is my last monthly update before you turn a year old.  This year has flown by like no other I can remember.  Despite all the sleepless nights and the endless days, I blinked and my baby is no longer a baby.  These updates probably all sound the same - full of nostalgia about the past and excitement about the future - but I'm so glad I had the opportunity to keep tabs on what you're up to and your accomplishments.  And in keeping with tradition, I'm a few weeks late posting this because each month just seems to sneak up on me and fly right by.  Oh well, some things never change.  And some things change a lot, like YOU.  The biggest change...

YOU'RE WALKING!!  I can't get over it.  It's the cutest thing ever.  You started off with cruising around holding onto the furniture (or the dog) and then got a little brave by taking one step here and two steps there.  Usually on a bee line straight into our arms.  We'd cheer and clap and you'd get the biggest smile on your face and clap for yourself.  So incredibly proud.  And then all of a sudden, you were on the move.  Walking all over.  Stopping, turning, squatting, walking again.  Every day you get better and better on your feet.  You've still got a bit of a Thriller-zombie arm thing going for balance, but you're moving really well.  I think the walking has helped you become a little more independent, as you don't want to be held quite a much these days.  You're always on the move and can get to what you want much quicker, whether it be the dishwasher or the dog food bowl.  Of course that makes me a little sad that you're growing up so fast, but I'm also so proud of you and happy that you're strong and smart and doing so well.  This mama is just beaming with pride.

Since you've been so focused on physical abilities, you haven't been doing much talking these days.  Our pediatrician told us this would happen, so we're not worried at all.  You still say "dadadada" all the time and definitely know what it means.  You also say "dat" for cat.  And you bark like a dog.  Actually, it's really funny.  You've been known to crawl after the dogs on all fours (like them) and bark at the front door when they do.  It's absolutely hilarious.  And just because you're not saying words doesn't mean you don't understand them.  You know eat, drink, duck, dog, cat, outside, up, diaper, book, bath, night-night, ball, mama and I'm sure you know even more than I give you credit for.  You also sign a couple things (eat, water, more).  We're working on some of the others, but you rarely watch us or pay attention when we're signing, you're already on to the next thing.

Your personality continues to shine though.  You've been less sick these days, so you're usually in a great mood and super happy.  You love to laugh and have the cutest fake laugh that you do when we laugh (which of course makes us laugh more and makes you fake laugh more).  It's wonderful.  You also are developing strong feelings and are SO incredibly demanding.  If you don't get your way there is hell to pay.  I'm pretty sure (about 100% sure) that you get that from me.  Sorry.  You are getting slightly better with the separation anxiety.  You love people and will smile and wave at everyone you meet.  You also love other babies and kids and think you have to touch/hug/lick them.  You're fascinated by the three little girls that live across the street from us.  You will stand at the front door and watch them while they ride bikes and run around playing tag screaming like wild banshees   Your dad constantly warns you that girls are nothing but TROUBLE and to stay away for as long as possible, but I don't think you're going to listen.  You like the ladies already.

You're also (and I know I'm biased) just the most handsome kid around.  I just can't get over your dark eyes (from your dad) and your blonde hair (from me).  Your hair's finally starting to get thicker and you've got some little curls on the side that just kill me.  You also now get bedhead in the mornings, which is the cutest thing I've ever seen.  I know it's silly, but I'm so glad you're a blonde (is there anything cuter than a little towhead baby boy?), mainly because I love seeing a part of myself in you.  Strangers tell me that we look alike and I melt.  However, I think you look just like your daddy did when he was little.  Those big brown eyes are killer and are going to get you out of a lot of trouble with me.  I can't say no.

Your sleep...well, it still sucks.  That's all I'm going to say about that.  

You're eating a TON these days.  I'm constantly surprised by the amount of food you can put away - although I guess I shouldn't be, you are my child.  You're still a fabulous eater, but you're also starting to pick and choose what you want to eat, as opposed to just eating whatever we put in front of you.  You definitely have opinions about everything these days.  Your favorite foods are pasta, rotisserie chicken, black beans, cheese, blueberries, pudding and ice cream.  Well balanced meals, I tell you.

Oh Mac, there's probably so much more to say, but I'm going to save all the mush and gush for your big ONE year post in a few weeks.  It's probably going to be a doozie, requiring an entire box of tissues and a bottle of wine to write.  Wish me luck.  Until then, just know that you are the most loved child in the whole wide world.  Everyday just keeps getting better and better.  I can't wait to see what the upcoming months will bring.  You are my whole world. 

Love, 

Your mama

11 Month Highlights:

- walking 

- first solo flight/trip to Dallas with only me

- got baptized

- attended lots of birthday parties

- slept through the night once

- mowed the lawn with daddy

- attended a Renaissance Fair
- first Easter
- mastered a sippy cup and a straw
- can blow a duck call
- fake laughs and barks

Favorite Quote

Day 4 of the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge.

"Favorite quote (from a person, from a book, etc) and why you love it"

Finally, an easy topic!  There are so many wonderful quotes to choose from - I could pick 1o a day for a year and still not make it through all my favorites.  Also, my favorite quote seems to change from time to time based on what's going on in my life.  Lately, in the midst of planning a baptism, first birthday party, beach vacation, work retreat and bridal shower, this quote has been my mantra.  I constantly have to remind myself that it's not possible to do it all, as much as I'd like to be able to.  I have to let things go, learn to accept help and be okay with doing the best that I can.  It's a good lesson for me.

What's your favorite quote right now?

Uncomfortable

Day 3 of the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge.

"Things that make you uncomfortable"

This is another tough topic.  While I could go on and on about how uncomfortable it is to talk about politics with morons or make meaningless small talk with co-workers or wear a thong, there’s something much more personally uncomfortable that I struggle with daily that relates to this blog.  I'm uncomfortable telling people that I have a blog. 

Hello, my name is Sara and I have a blog.

I’m not sure why I’m so uncomfortable with admitting that I’m a blogger…that I blog…that I have a blog.  I’m actually quite proud of this blog.  I’m proud of my writing and of my photography.  I’m proud of my posts and the people I've met through blogging.  I like to joke that no one reads my posts, but I've seen the stats - it gets read.  Last year this little blog was even a finalist for “Best Personal Blog” in the Riverfront Times (a local paper in St. Louis).  I’m so proud of that!  And yet, my blog is not something that I feel confident enough to advertise or promote.  I’m shy about it.  When someone I know tells me that they read one of my posts, I get nervous.  Of course I’m also absolutely thrilled and honored that they’d read what I have to say, but it’s a little weird putting yourself out there and knowing that people you know (IN REAL LIFE) might actually read it.   What if they hate it?  What if they think I'm ridiculous?  What if they don't agree with what I say?  Isn't it funny that it’s easier to write down your innermost thoughts and feelings on the internet for strangers to read than to actually talk about them face-to-face sometimes? 

It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with the “blogger” title or that I think blogging is anything to be ashamed of.  Other bloggers probably get this, but a big part of me is worried that a non-blogger won’t understand why I have a blog in the first place.  Inevitably the first question that they ask is "What's your blog about?" and it's uncomfortable saying, "Um...me."  By telling people that I have a blog, I worry that it gives the impression that I’m full of myself.  That I think I have such an amazing and exciting life that I need an entire website dedicated to documenting my every move.  Or that I believe my thoughts are so novel and important that I need to share them with the entire world.  (Cue the music: "She's so vain...she probably thinks this blog is about her.")  That’s really not what blogging is about. 

Having a personal blog is inherently a bit narcissistic, but I don't think that’s necessarily a bad thing.  When I first started blogging, I wrote for others - I wrote to keep my family and friends updated on training for a marathon.  As time went by, I kept writing for myself; as a creative outlet, a place to put my words.  Now, after five years of blogging, I still write for myself, but I write for others too.  For my readers.  For my friends.  For my friends’ friends that somehow found this blog and liked what I had to say.  For that girl I met a few weeks ago at a wedding that told me that the New Mommy Confessions made her feel normal after having a baby when noting else did.  I write for YOU…because I love you and I love that you’re here reading this.  To me, blogging is about being part of a community.  It’s sharing a little sliver your life with others.  It’s about connecting with people around the world I’d never have met otherwise.  It’s about encouragement and getting/giving advice and knowing that you’re not alone.  There’s nothing uncomfortable about that.

I guess it all comes down to being scared of being judged which puts me firmly outside my comfort zone.  By telling people I have a blog, it gives them the key to open a door to my soul.  It makes me exposed.  It’s a real life glimpse into who I am.  It’s a key I can never take back.  I try to be honest and authentic on this blog and it’s hard opening yourself up to others, to criticism, to negativity.  Not everyone is going to like what I have to say.  As a people-pleaser, that’s scary. 

Anyone else out there feel uncomfortable telling people they blog?  

Why, do you think?  

How you do handle it?  

Let Me Teach You

Damn.  I know it’s only Day 2, but this whole blogging every day for a month thing is HARD.  Today’s topic (as chosen by the lovely Jenni from The Story of My Life) is:

“Educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at.”  

Yikes. 

I've been thinking about this for a while and have to say that I don’t really feel qualified to teach you all about anything because I don’t really know that much about anything myself.  I mean, in this world of Pinterest tutorials on everything from how to clean your iron, to how to wrap gifts with fabric scraps, to how to paint Hello Kitty on your fingernails, I’m just not sure what else I can contribute.  Those are some serious skills that everyone should know.  How could I possibly compete?

However, I know I’m not completely lacking in know-how.  I have SKILLZ too!  Somewhere.  So I put together a list of things I felt qualified to teach you about. 

1. How to get your baby to NOT sleep through the night
2. How to function at work on 4 hours of sleep and 82 cups of coffee
3. How to suck at housework
4. How to get ridiculously (and embarrassingly) addicted to Candy Crush Saga
5. How to keep on all the baby weight 1 year + after the baby
6. How to order take-out like a boss
7. How to lose your sunglasses, keys and phone at least three times a day
8. How to spend hours on Pinterest while drinking an entire bottle of wine (a/k/a multi-tasking)
9. How to spend hundreds of dollars at the grocery store to still not have anything to eat
10. How to live covered head-to-toe in dog hair
11. How to pair yoga pants with everything in your closet
12. How to not murder your husband as he sleeps while the baby screams in the other room
13. How to sing ridiculous songs in your “baby voice” and clap for hours and hours on end
14. How to spend your entire paycheck at J. Crew
15. How to balance a martini glass in one hand and a baby in the other
16. How to watch nine straight hours of Vampire Diaries and not feel bad about it
17. How to eat your weight in S'mores
18. How to whine, bitch and moan enough to get your husband to make dinner or take out the trash
19. How to find the answer to anything
20. How to cuss like a sailor in pearls and high heels

So dear readers, which would you like me to blog about?  Which of these tutorials would help you the most?  I think they’re all pretty worthy topics and I’d love to share my expertise. 

If you had to “teach” someone something, what would it be?

My Life in 250 Words

I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I've been in a bit of a blogging slump lately.  Lack of time, lack of energy, lack of sleep and lack of a social life will do that to you, I guess.  It seems like the only things I have to talk about these days are (in no particular order): (1) my baby, (2) my baby's sleep, (3) my baby's daddy, (4) my baby's favorite toys, (5) my baby's upcoming birthday party, (6) my dogs (a/k/a my baby's cleaning crew), (7) my baby's eating habits, (8) the fact that my baby is no longer a baby, (9) my baby's milestones, and (10) my lack of  time/energy/sleep/social life all due to said baby.  Yeah, life is just that exciting.  

Or maybe I'm just confused about the direction I want to go with this blog.  Is it all baby all the time?  Is it still about me at all?  Should I be posting more photos, or more recipes, or more projects?  I have no idea where this little blog 'o mine is going these days.  Sometimes I daydream about growing it to where I eventually have sponsors and a million readers and a book tour and then star in the movie made about my life opposite Christian Bale and we get to make out all hot and heavy and my husband's ok with it because it is only a movie after all and Christian Bale is playing him and that's a major compliment.  Then I have to come back down to reality where I actually only have about 20 people that read this blog and give a shit about anything I have to say (thank you...all 20 of you!).

So when I read that Jenni over at The Story of My Life was hosting a "Blog Every Day in May" challenge, I figured I'd give it a shot.  There's probably no way on earth that I'll be able to pull off a post every day for 31 straight days, but I thought her topics were creative and I figured it may inspire me to be a little more thoughtful and deliberate with my posts.  Maybe you'll learn something about me...maybe I'll learn something about myself...or maybe I'll get three posts in and say fuck it, this is too hard and quit.  Whatever, that'd just give me more time to daydream about Christian Bale.  Win-win.  

Anyway, if you'd like to play along, go link up with Jenni.  I'm going to try to use her topics as prompts, but I might also pick and choose which ones I want to do and still try to include some other "baby-related" info - because I KNOW ya'll are really here for Mac, not me.  I get it.  I gotta keep his fans happy happy happy.

Day 1 - My life in 250 words

I was born in the middle-of-nowhere Illinois to a young mama and coal miner father.  We moved from state to state before settling in my parents’ hometown in Northeast Missouri when I was five.  I grew up in a very small town that didn't even have a stoplight.  I grew up in the woods and I spent my days building forts and playing in the creek with my little brothers.  I became obsessed with gymnastics.  My parents divorced, my father moved to Jefferson City and remarried, adding a stepmom and stepbrother to our family.  In high school I danced, played golf and did a lot of things I hope my high-school-aged children never do (or at least don’t tell me about).  I attended the University of Missouri (go Tigers!) and majored in English.  I was an Alpha Delta Pi sorority girl and worked at a steakhouse.  I made some of the most important friendships of my life in college.  I studied abroad in London, which started my love affair with Europe.  I went to Saint Louis University law school and studied abroad again in Madrid and Brussels.  My second year I fell hard for a boy in my class that drove a pick-up truck and we got married on a ranch in Jackson Hole, WY surrounded by our closest friends and family in 2009.  After struggling for a few years to have a baby, we were blessed with the most wonderful little boy.  Being a mom is the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me and we hope our little family will continue to grow over the next few years.  

Ok, so that was actually 271 words.  Thrilling stuff, huh?  :)  Are you on the edge of your seat and dying for more?  I thought so.

Anyone else participating in the "Blog Every Day in May" project?

The Breastfeeding Diaries

Hello lovelies.  Today I'm guest blogging over at The Girl in the Red Shoes.  Julie has a wonderful series for new moms called "The Breastfeeding Diaries."  Each week she features a blogger/mama to share her breastfeeding experience.  Today it's my turn.  To be honest, I am really sensitive about my breastfeeding experience, since it definitely didn't go as I hoped it would.  This was a tough post for me to write and share.  I hope you'll stop by and read it.  Please be kind.  

Here's the link to my story.

And if you found this blog from Julie's, WELCOME!  I hope you'll stick around for a while.  :)

Score Keeping

Today I want to talk to you about score keeping.  Maybe you are a new parent and know a little bit about this or maybe you have a perfect marriage and have no clue what it is, but let me fill you in.  In our house, score keeping is what we call arguing over who does more.  It's keeping a mental tally of who has spent more time in the middle of the night with the baby, who has changed more diapers, who has gotten up in the morning more, who has logged more nights alone with him, or who got less sleep and then using it against the other person.  It's a constant battle of who did what and who did more that no one can ever win.  I think it's pretty normal and I'm sure we're not the only ones that do this, but I'm sick of it.  So is my husband.  Yet we can't seem to make it stop.  

I'll be the first to admit that our marriage isn't perfect.  It's pretty damn great, but we definitely have our moments.  I love my husband with all my heart and soul, but he drives me absolutely fucking crazy sometimes.   And I know I drive him just as nuts (probably more so - he's way easier to deal with than I am).  I'm sure that's true for all new parents all parents all married people anyone that's ever been in a relationship in the history of the world.  And that's ok - it's bound to happen.  For the most part, we have a very strong marriage and wonderful relationship.  What helps a lot is that I think my husband and I have always felt like we were on equal footing in our relationship.  We have similar careers with similar paychecks, we both have our own group of friends, we each have hobbies that we enjoy, we both appreciate our free time and independence.  Having a baby changes all of that.  We are closer now than we've ever been, but becoming new parents is tough on a marriage.  Not only are we dealing with sleep deprivation, raging hormones and the stress of trying to raise a child not to grow up to be a serial killer, but we're struggling with our new identity as parents, role models, caretakers.  We're no longer Ryan and Sara, or even newlyweds.  We're Mac's parents.  It's an adjustment.  One that we'll probably struggle with for a while - and that's ok too.  I know we'll figure it out.  Eventually.

But in the meantime, we're playing a dangerous game of keeping score.  We both still work full-time.  We both still want to have a life outside of being parents.  We both still want to have some independence and ability to pursue our passions.  We both want to be individuals.  But having a baby is a team sport.  Our team has 2 captains that both want to run the team.  Maybe it's because we're both so competitive, or maybe because we're both struggling with our new identities, but whatever the reason, we keep having the same fight over and over.  We each want to one-up the other, have the upper hand, be the better parent.  So we use what we do for the baby against each other.  It's awful, but it happens.  Neither of us feel like what we're doing (whether it's long nights awake rocking the baby or changing diapers) is a punishment or anything.  If anything, it's pride - we both want to be the best parent we can and somehow we think that whoever got the least amount of sleep wins.  I don't know.  It doesn't make sense.

For me, becoming a parent has been the most amazing experience in the world.  It was something I had hoped an prayed for for years.  It's a dream come true.  I'm willing to sacrifice almost anything to be the best parent I can and spend as much time with our little guy as possible. That means that I spent less time with friends, reading, working out, pursuing hobbies and watching crappy TV shows so I can spend more quality time with the baby.  I go out less, I travel less, I do less.  And my husband has made a lot of the same sacrifices, but not to the extent I have.  And I'm fine with that.  I think it's good for him to still have a life outside of the baby.  But it's also hard not to feel some resentment along with that. I resent that he seems to be able to do it all while I can't seem to do anything but be a mom.

I know that it's important for me to have a life outside of my baby, but it feels so much harder for me.  Why is that?  Is it just mommy guilt?  I miss the baby so much while I'm at work all day, the last thing I want to do is miss hanging out with him in the evening or on a weekend.  I need him.  The more time I spend with Mac, the more time I want to spend with him.  He's growing up so fast, I feel like I can literally see him getting stronger and smarter and bigger by the minute.  I don't want to miss a second of it.  My husband doesn't either, but he's also much more excited for the baby to get older so they can do things together.  He wants a buddy; I want my baby.  Will the world end if I miss some evenings with him or have a weekend away now and then?  Absolutely not.  Will the baby love me any less?  No.  Will I be happier?  Maybe, I don't know.  Will I?  I do know that I'll miss him like crazy and probably beat myself up about not being there.  It's such a vicious circle. 

To his credit, my husband's managed to retain some aspects of his former life and keep some hobbies and interests.  He still hunts and fishes.  He still spends time with friends.  He still goes to dinners and concerts and events.  I don't.  Or at least I don't nearly as much.  It's not that I can't, it's that I choose not to.  My husband is more than willing to watch the baby while I go out to dinner or get a pedicure or anything, but I don't want to.  I want to be with my baby.  Therefore, I feel like I automatically "do more" with the baby for this reason alone.  So I win.  Right?  My score is higher!  I make more sacrifices.  I have less of a life.  I'm the winner, but I'm also the loser.  I feel like since I'm the mom, I should do more.  I should win.  That's my job.  Obviously my husband doesn't feel like I'm the winner or that I do all the work and make all the sacrifices or else we wouldn't still be having the same fight about who does more.  He feels like he's doing the brunt of the work and I feel like he's out of his freaking mind if he thinks that.  That's a major disconnect.  

We both make deliberate choices and yet I get angry with him for doing the things I wish I could do...but I don't want to do, even though I really do want to do and I can, but I don't.  What?  It's a no win situation for both of us.  And I constantly feel like an asshole for feeling like this.  Yet it's not something that I feel like I can fix by just going out more or "getting a life."  My choice is to spend time with the baby over everything else and I'm not apologetic for that.  I know it's crazy, but I want my husband to make the same choice all the time too.  I know that's not realistic or even good for us/him/baby.  We'd probably kill each other.  I guess maybe I'm just trying to restore that equilibrium that I felt like we used to have in our marriage to our parenting?  Or maybe I'm just a tired bitch that wants him to be as exhausted as I am.  You know, take one for the team.  Misery loves company.  (I'm not miserable.)

The funny thing is, I really do think we are a great parenting team.  We both contribute, we both make sacrifices, we both love that baby unconditionally.  In the end, he's the real winner that has two parents that would do anything in the world for him.  I couldn't have chosen a better teammate for this whole parenting experience.  I don't want parenting to turn into a competition.  I don't want to keep score anymore.  And I don't want to win.  But how do you get over this mindset?  How do you take down the scoreboard?  How do you get back to even?

Any other score keepers out there?  

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

Mother's Day is less than a month away!  I have been looking forward to my very first Mother's Day for a long time.  Last year I missed it by ONE WEEK.  I'm glad Mac was fully cooked when he decided to arrive, but I was really looking forward to maybe possibly becoming a mom on (or by) Mother's Day.  Oh well.  However, this year I cannot wait to celebrate being a mom with the little dude that made me one.  

And not that I need anything more than Mac kisses and snuggles on Mother's Day (or a full night's sleep), but just in case Ryan somebody (ahem ahem) was thinking about maybe (ahem) getting me a little something-something special (ahem) as a token of love and appreciation (ahem) on this glorious celebratory day of all mothers, I just thought I'd help him that person out.  Any of these items would be greatly appreciated and find a nice home with this mama.  

Feel free to send your husband's to this post for their shopping (or hell, just buy this stuff for yourself and write your kid's name on the card - you deserve it!).  

Home is Where Mom Is print // coral infinity scarf // personalized return address stamp // Lululemon yoga bag // mommy & me photo session // gift certificate to blow out bar // champagne // knit pajamas // pretty iPhone case // cashmere booties // Tory Burch sandals // DSLR prime lens // custom baby footprint art // i heart mom t-shirt // bouquet of peonies // accordion photo brag book // footprint stool // silver locket // Kate Spade wristlet // personalized stack rings // child's writing silver bracelet // chef's medallions

What's on your Mother's Day wishlist?

A Sappy Sentimental Birthday Love Fest

Pardon me for a second while I get all sentimental and mushy and attempt to wish my husband the happiest of birthdays in the most public, obnoxious and possibly humiliating way I know...on the internet for the whole wide world to see!  Am I not the best wife ever? 

And while I'm at it, I thought maybe I'd share a couple things about this wonderful man that make him so incredibly special to me. 

1. He owns more hats than any person I've ever known.  He has at least 40 hats in his truck, around 15 in his car and probably another 30 in the basement.  He has a hat for every occasion in every shade of camo, green and brown ever made.  Some with lights on them.  Some chosen based on material, fit, brand/logo or degree of luckiness.  He goes to great lengths to make sure he picks the correct/appropriate/best hat for whatever he's doing.   Guess what I got him for his birthday?  Another hat.  :) 

2. When I cook dinner, then he's on dish duty and he always sings hilarious made-up silly songs to the dogs while he loads the dishwasher.  I sit in the living room and crack up at some of the goofy nonsense that comes out of his mouth.  And then he walks back in the room and blushes because he knows I heard him and that whatever he was singing was absolutely freaking ridiculous.  

3. He loves to hunt and takes pride in what he can kill and eat, yet he will not kill spiders in our house.  Last summer there was a giant spider that made a massive web across our front door and he captured it in a plastic cup and drove it over to the golf course by our house and released her it into a tree on the side of the road.  Anytime I find a spider in our house I have to call my husband (a/k/a St. Louis Spider Relocation Services) (or just kill it myself and don't tell him).  

4. He's my biggest fan.  Despite what having a baby has done to my body, he thinks I'm hot and still pinches my butt.  He tells me I'm the best cook he knows.  He tells his friends that I'm a good mom.  He says I look beautiful in every photo.  He laughs at my awful jokes.  He loves me even when I'm a total bitch nutcase.  

5. He is a wonderful father.  I had no doubt when I married this guy that I hit the jackpot when it came to finding a man that would be an amazing dad.  He was born to do this.  He is so good with the baby.  You should see Mac's face light up when Ryan walks in a room.  Mine does too.  We're both pretty crazy about this guy.  The way he plays with Mac and talks to him and takes care of him makes me want to have a million babies with him.  Best dada around. 

Happy birthday, love.