Running from the Law: Uncomfortable

Friday, May 3, 2013

Uncomfortable

Day 3 of the "Blog Every Day in May" challenge.

"Things that make you uncomfortable"

This is another tough topic.  While I could go on and on about how uncomfortable it is to talk about politics with morons or make meaningless small talk with co-workers or wear a thong, there’s something much more personally uncomfortable that I struggle with daily that relates to this blog.  I'm uncomfortable telling people that I have a blog


Hello, my name is Sara and I have a blog.

I’m not sure why I’m so uncomfortable with admitting that I’m a blogger…that I blog…that I have a blog.  I’m actually quite proud of this blog.  I’m proud of my writing and of my photography.  I’m proud of my posts and the people I've met through blogging.  I like to joke that no one reads my posts, but I've seen the stats - it gets read.  Last year this little blog was even a finalist for “Best Personal Blog” in the Riverfront Times (a local paper in St. Louis).  I’m so proud of that!  And yet, my blog is not something that I feel confident enough to advertise or promote.  I’m shy about it.  When someone I know tells me that they read one of my posts, I get nervous.  Of course I’m also absolutely thrilled and honored that they’d read what I have to say, but it’s a little weird putting yourself out there and knowing that people you know (IN REAL LIFE) might actually read it.   What if they hate it?  What if they think I'm ridiculous?  What if they don't agree with what I say?  Isn't it funny that it’s easier to write down your innermost thoughts and feelings on the internet for strangers to read than to actually talk about them face-to-face sometimes? 

It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with the “blogger” title or that I think blogging is anything to be ashamed of.  Other bloggers probably get this, but a big part of me is worried that a non-blogger won’t understand why I have a blog in the first place.  Inevitably the first question that they ask is "What's your blog about?" and it's uncomfortable saying, "Um...me."  By telling people that I have a blog, I worry that it gives the impression that I’m full of myself.  That I think I have such an amazing and exciting life that I need an entire website dedicated to documenting my every move.  Or that I believe my thoughts are so novel and important that I need to share them with the entire world.  (Cue the music: "She's so vain...she probably thinks this blog is about her.")  That’s really not what blogging is about. 

Having a personal blog is inherently a bit narcissistic, but I don't think that’s necessarily a bad thing.  When I first started blogging, I wrote for others - I wrote to keep my family and friends updated on training for a marathon.  As time went by, I kept writing for myself; as a creative outlet, a place to put my words.  Now, after five years of blogging, I still write for myself, but I write for others too.  For my readers.  For my friends.  For my friends’ friends that somehow found this blog and liked what I had to say.  For that girl I met a few weeks ago at a wedding that told me that the New Mommy Confessions made her feel normal after having a baby when noting else did.  I write for YOU…because I love you and I love that you’re here reading this.  To me, blogging is about being part of a community.  It’s sharing a little sliver your life with others.  It’s about connecting with people around the world I’d never have met otherwise.  It’s about encouragement and getting/giving advice and knowing that you’re not alone.  There’s nothing uncomfortable about that.

I guess it all comes down to being scared of being judged which puts me firmly outside my comfort zone.  By telling people I have a blog, it gives them the key to open a door to my soul.  It makes me exposed.  It’s a real life glimpse into who I am.  It’s a key I can never take back.  I try to be honest and authentic on this blog and it’s hard opening yourself up to others, to criticism, to negativity.  Not everyone is going to like what I have to say.  As a people-pleaser, that’s scary. 

Anyone else out there feel uncomfortable telling people they blog?  
Why, do you think?  
How you do handle it?  

25 comments:

  1. NONE of my friends knew I had a blog - until about 2 weeks ago. Only 2 know, I just feel so embarassed telling them I have one. Weird? Probably.
    I think I'm afraid people will see what I have to say about certain situations, or think I'm a dork. Probably more the dork part.

    I don't think any of us should be uncomfortable, it's fun, and nice to be able to look back throughout your life and remember the little details. Not to mention making some neat friends.

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  2. Oh my goodness....I feel the exact same way. I hate it when people ask what my blog is about and I'm like me? And my baby? It just sounds so weird to me. So I get how you feel!

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  3. I feel the same way! I tried to keep my blog a secret when I first started and have no reason why I did that. Now I share links to my posts on facebook and twitter and check the stats like a weirdo. I blog about things now that I would have done before. Every time I click that publish button, I still get the twinge of anxiety.

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  4. Yes, Yes, Yes!! And funny, other than a handful of my closest friends, I feel more comfortable about strangers knowing about it! Every once in a while I think about quitting, but when I go back and read through posts, I think it's worth doing, even just for me! I LOVE your blog, and although I don't think it should make you uncomfortable (because it's awesome), I am glad to know that others feel the same way!

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  5. I feel the same way. In fact, I don't tell people I have a blog. A handful of my friends, along with my immediate family, know about the blog now but in the beginning, I told no one. Honestly, I wish none of my friends knew about it. I've even tried to figure out a way to tell all my "blog friends" (doesn't that sound silly) about the new blog without any of my "real life friends" finding out. I don't know why it makes me so uncomfortable. It's sort of nice to know others feel the same way.

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  6. I'm rather careful about telling people about my blog. I'm semi-anonymous - if you know me and read my blog, that's ok. But I don't let it go the other way. People only know my first name and where I live, although you could probably figure out who I really am if you tried. I have the same problems as you describe here, worried about what people will think about me if they find out I have a blog. So I just to avoid it!

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  7. I am definitely uncomfortable telling people I blog. In fact, I never do.

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  8. Love this. I never tag my blog posts to Facebook because I don't know how I feel about people I know reading it. I haven't even told my mom yet! haha

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  9. This is great to read. I'm a newish blogger and one of the reasons I hesitated writing a blog is because of this. I just feel awkward for people in my real life to read. Also, sometimes it seems silly to think I have blog friends that I have never met. But at the end of the day blogging is still something I do for me because I enjoy it.

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  10. Well, I love your blog, I'm glad you blog! My famil y does not read my blog, thank goodness, but, it's super fun when people you didn't know read your blog and say awful things about you that they think they've understood from your blog. That, is always fun. Ugh.

    Love you!

    xoxo

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  11. Agreed! No one knew about my blog for a really long time....the secret is out now though.

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  12. I *TOTALLY* get this. I still like to pretend that most people don't read my blog, when in fact, most people IRL I know, do. Sigh. Why can't I get over this?!?!?

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  13. I totally agree. I feel so strange telling people I blog, they just don't really "get" it!

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  14. I think at one point I might have, but I've been blogging for so long (I started almost 10 years and 4 blogs ago) that most of the people I know just accept it, even if they don't understand it. I'm fortunate enough to have just enough of an off beat personality that anyone who asks, "Why would you do that?" the answer of "'Cause I feel like it." is enough and they don't question it further.

    I don't get into the fact that it's a creative outlet, it helps me keep in touch with people, it gets the words out of my head and lets me think, etc.

    What I find interesting is that when people ask how my husband and I met and we say through our blogs, some give us a surprised look. Almost to say, Why would you do that? Yet they're ok with online dating.

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  15. I'm totally with you - it's awkward for me too! If it ever comes up in conversation with someone I don't know all too well, I always wonder if they go home and search for it online and think I'm a total weirdo! Which is ridiculous because I actually really like my blog and do take pride in it. However, I don't write it with a million different people in mind and try not to hold back too much (although I do), so I just wonder what others think about it that know me?! Why I care, I have no clue.

    Okay, I'll stop rambling. I LOVE your blog --- and I know I've dropped by before, but haven't checked in recently. Found you today via my sweet friend Natasha at Hello! Happiness! Let's be blog land friends, yesssssssssssssssssssss? Haha!

    Happy weekend - so glad to have stumbled upon your blog again today! Just added you to my "favorite reads" on my blog side bar so I can keep up more frequently! :)

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  16. I started blogging about six weeks ago, after having always said I'd never be "one of those people who would blog". I felt completely vulnerable and thought that people would judge me and think, who is she to put her opinion out there? But then I had the thought that if someone didn't like what I was blogging about or disagreed with my opinions they simply didn't need to read it. It's not for them. That made me feel better. I also have a day job that's in a very different field from the topics I blog about, so I was afraid of showing this other side of myself. Ultimately, it's been unbelievably fun and all of the feedback I've gotten has been positive, so I'm glad I became one of "those people"!

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  17. I agree 100%!!!! Any time a friend or family member tells me they read my blog I start running posts through my head, wondering what they might think of them. I usually come to the conclusion that they think I'm super annoying--ha! But I love your blog…so keep writing! :)

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  18. My family and not even my husband know that I have a blog. So I totally understand this!!! I love reading your posts!

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  19. I hear ya!!! I think I get nervous mentioning it because my blog is so small. I love it, I think I do a good job, and the people who read do to. But I feel that that's not really a way to describe myself until it gets bigger, ya know??

    Which congratulations on being a finalist for the best personal blog!!! That's awesome! I loved and totally related to this post, so you've definitely got me following the rest. :)

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  20. Yes! I feel this way too. I am really awkward when I tell people about my blog too.

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  21. Completely agree! This is such a good one. I am doing the blog every day in May challenge too and loving following along with others doing it as well!

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  22. And I thought I was the only one who felt that way! Great post.

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  23. Totally get this, yes! And didn't know you were a finalist with the RFT---sweet!!!

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  24. Yep, you nailed this. It's SO hard telling people (non-bloggers, non-readers) that I blog. It's equally as hard to try to explain just what the blog is about. With all those hard things I try to avoid the whole topic completely.
    P.S. Your block rocks my face off. :)

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  25. DITTO. And I keep my personal twitter and facebook separate for that reason. It's reason 8453423756945034 that my blog will remain a small blog lol

    xx
    josie
    www.straightnochase.com

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