Upon arrival at Alexander's, whether it be by bus (which happened to break down along the highway 20 miles away) or by mustang convertible (loaned to the bus driver by the guy that runs the convenience store where your busted-ass broke-down bus died), you proceed immediately to the bar area and order one Tall Bud Light draft. Or maybe two, if you really need it.
It's always best to have these girls at the bar with you.
And I'm sure they'd be willing to drive to Springfield to dine at Alexander's with you whenver you make it there. Just call me...I'll set it up.
Make sure to sit next to your friends at the table. This way you can split an order of sauteed mushrooms with your steak. And share a skillet cookies with them for dessert. Insider tip: a skillet cookie is a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie in skillet, topped with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, hot fudge, almond slivers and a cherry. It's amazeballs.
Above: Top sirloin rubbed with their secret "Santa Maria" spice, perfectly marbled ribeyes, bone-in Kansas City strips larger than your head, giant T-bones that might have come from dinosaurs. (And chicken for the wimpy non-red-meat-eater...although the chicken is really damn good.)Insider tip: the teriyaki marinade is a combination of soy sauce, brown sugar, pineapple juice and garlic. It's a top secret recipe that I would never ever ever share. Unless you gave me a million dollars. Or just asked nicely. :) Oh wait...did I just give it away? Damn it.
And now it's time to take your steak to the grill and cook!
Kasey makes excellent Texas Toast.
She is from Texas after all, so she has an advantage.
If you want something a little more "manly" than a filet, we've got you covered there too. One of the
most disgusting coolest items that Alexander's offers is called "The Beefeater." It's a 3 lb. top sirloin. THREE POUNDS of meat! It's a novelty item that is cut to order and comes with rules: if you want the Beefeater (and to be included on the Beefeater Hall of Fame plaque in the hallway), you must eat the salad bar, a baked potato, Texas Toast and the entire THREE pound sirloin in one hour.
Your next Tall Bud Light is on me!